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UPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat Allotment

UPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat Allotment

Related To: UPTU M.Tech Admission

By: Prabha Dhavala
Updated On: 16 Jul 2016 04:44 PM IST

UPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat AllotmentUPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat Allotment – The UPTU M.Tech Seat Allotment 2016 will be announced in August 2016 for th GATE qualified candidates and thereafter for the Non-GATE candidates who have appeared for the university entrance exam. Check the details and procedure for the UPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat Allotment below on this page.

The UPTU M.Tech Admission 2016 held by the Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam Technical University (APJAKTU) is based on valid GATE scores of applicants who wish to pursue M.Tech. Candidates who have low GATE scores or have not appeared for GATE can appear for the entrance test held by the University.


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Details of UPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat Allotment:

  • The Seat Allotment will be on the basis of the UPTU M.Tech 2016 Merit Rank and the choices entered by the candidates for the available courses as per their eligibility

  • The Seat Allotment for the UPTU M.Tech Admission 2016 will be held in two rounds.

  • The first round will have the UPTU M.Tech Seat Allotment 2016 for the GATE qualified applicants who are exempt from the entrance test held by the university.

  • The second round will be announced for the vacant seats. Theses seats will be allotted to the candidates who have qualified in the university held entrance test.

  • Candidates must log in and check their UPTU M.Tech 2016 Seat Allotment.

  • They must download their provisional allotment letters and check the instructions given.

  • Candidates who have been allotted seats will have to report to the allotted colleges by the specified date and time.

  • They must complete their admission formalities after submitting the allotment letter and other documents as specified after paying the balance fees.

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UPTU M.Tech Admission 2018

UPTU M.Tech Admission 2018

Related To: UPTU M.Tech Admission

By: Manashjyoti
Updated On: 25 Jun 2018 04:40 PM IST

UPTU M.Tech AdmissionUPTU M.Tech Admission 2018 – Choice filling of UPTU M.Tech 2018 for GATE/GPAT qualified candidates commenced on July 25; allotment of seats will be done post choice filling. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam Technical University has released the result of UPTU M.Tech in online mode. To check UPTU M.Tech 2018 result, candidates’ need to enter their registration number, date of birth and mobile number. The UPTU M.Tech exam was conducted on June 10 for non-GATE qualified candidates  in offline (OMR-based) mode. The UPTU M.Tech 2018 admit card was available from June 6. The application form of UPTU M.Tech was available till June 3 in online mode. UPTU M.Tech admission 2018 is through two channels – first based on GATE/GPAT scores and then based on marks obtained by the candidates in an entrance exam (For non-GATE candidates). The result of the entrance exam will be declared around 2nd week of July. UPTU M.Tech counselling 2018 will be conducted in multiple rounds; in each round of counselling GATE qualified candidates will be given preference. UPTU M.Tech aspirants shortlisted for counselling will be sent call letters that will contain information like counselling date and time. Go through the rest of the article to learn more about UPTU M.Tech admission 2018.

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UPTU M.Tech Quick Facts

  • Conducting Body – A.P.J.Abdul Kalam Technical University

  • Commonly known as – UPTU M.Tech Admission

  • Level – PG

  • Admission process – GATE-qualified candidates will be offered direct admission. Non-GATE candidates have to sit in an entrance exam for filling vacant seats.

  • Mode of application: Online

  • Mode of exam: Pen-and-paper based 

UPTU M.Tech Admission Dates 2018

 

The entire schedule of events related to the UPTU M.Tech admission process, including dates of the entrance exam for non-GATE candidates, will be covered by the admission dates of UPTU M.Tech 2018. The dates given in the table are tentative only, and will be updated once the official notification is released.

 

Admission dates of UPTU M.Tech 2018

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Event

Dates

Availability of application form

April 25, 2018

Last date to submit application form

June 3, 2018

Last date to pay application fees online

June 3, 2018

Issue of admit cards

June 6, 2018

Entrance Test

June 10, 2018

Declaration of Result

June 23, 2018

Payment of Counselling fees

June 24-26, 2018

Document Verification – GATE/GPAT

July 24 (10 am), 2018

Choice Filling and seat allotment – GATE/GPAT

July 25 (10 am), 2018

Document Verification – PG Entrance

July 26 (10 am), 2018

Choice Filling and seat allotment – PG Entrance

July 27 (10 am), 2018

UPTU M.Tech Counselling and Seat Allotment 2018

 

Candidates shortlisted for counselling will be sent call letters that will contain information like time and date of counselling. During UPTU M.Tech 2018 counselling and seat allotment, GATE-qualified candidates will be given preference. Seats that are available after accommodating GATE candidates will be offered to non-GATE candidates as per the merit rank of the candidate in the entrance exam.

 

Latest: UPTU M.Tech Choice-filling and Seat Allotment –  Click Here

 

UPTU M.Tech Result 2018

 

The result of UPTU M.Tech 2018 has been declared on June 23 in online mode. To check their results, candidates have to log in to their respective candidate portals. The result contain information like roll number and scores obtained by the candidate in the entrance exam.

 

In case of GATE qualified candidates, a merit list of UPTU M.Tech admssion 2018 will be published as per the All India Rank (AIR) of the candidate.

UPTU M.Tech Answer Key 2018

 

The exam conducting body has released the UPTU M.Tech 2018 answer keys for all the M.Tech papers. To download the UPTU M.Tech 2018 answer key, the candidate simply needs to follow the link given below; no log-in credential is required. The answer keys are available in donwloadable pdf format.

 

To download UPTU M.Tech 2018 Answer Key – Click Here  

 

UPTU M.Tech Admit Card 2018

The exam authorities had released the admit card of UPTU M.Tech admission 2018 on June 6. The UPTU M.Tech 2018 admit card carries details like the name and roll number of the candidate, and also exam centre details and time and date of the exam. Candidates needed the admit card not only to sit in the entrance exam, but also to complete exam formalities like counselling.

 

To download the UPTU M.Tech admit card, candidates need to log-in to their applicant accounts using registration number, date of birth and mobile number.

UPTU M.Tech Eligibility Criteria 2018

 

It is important that applicants meet the eligibility criteria of UPTU M.Tech admission 2018, or else they may be disqualified from the admission process. Here is a list of the UPTU M.Tech 2018 eligibility criteria:

  • Academic qualification: The candidate needs to have passed B.E or B.Tech with minimum 60% marks in aggregate (54% in case of reserved category candidates) or an equivalent CGPA.
  • Age limit: The candidate must be minimum 16 and maximum 60 years old.

UPTU M.Tech Admission Process 2018

 

Admission to B.Tech seats at Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam Technical University will be through the following two channels:

  • Direct admission based on GATE scores: Candidates with valid GATE scores will be given first preference during seat allotment and will be eligible for direct admission. They don’t have to sit in the entrance exam conducted by the institute.
  • Entrance test for non-GATE candidates: Candidates in this category will have to attempt an entrance test. Based on the performance of the candidates in the test, merit list will be prepared and candidates will be called for counselling.

UPTU M.Tech Application Form 2018

 

The application form of UPTU M.Tech admission 2018 was available in online mode only.  The steps to fill the UPTU M.Tech 2018 application form have been given below:

  • Registration: The candidate has to get registered on the application portal by entering their personal and contact details. The candidates will also have to enter their valid email Id and mobile number to fill the application form. Upon successful registration, log-in details will be sent to the registered email and mobile number.

  • Log-in to fill the form: Using the log-in details shared by exam authorities, the candidate has to log-in to fill the application form. Some of the fields the candidate has to enter include academic, course and GATE-related details.

  • Uploading of documents: The candidate has to next upload scanned copies of signature and photograph in the prescribed format.

  • Payment of application fee: In the penultimate step, the candidate has to pay the applicable fee.

  • Submission of application form: After ensuring the application form is complete in all respects, submit it.

Image Specifications

Document

Size

Format

Dimension

Photograph

Less than 50 KB

JPEG or JPG

3.5 cm* 6.0 cm

Signature – Should be in blank ink only

Less than 50 KB

JPEG or JPG

 

Note: The signature should be the full name of the candidate, and not initials. Also, candidates mustn’t write the entire signature in full caps.

 

Application Fee:

 

The application fee of UPTU M.Tech admission 2018 would vary depending on the category of the candidate. Check in the table below.

 

UPTU M.Tech Application Fee

Category of candidate

Application fee

General/OBC

Rs. 2000

SC, ST, PwD, and Female candidates

Rs. 1000

Mode of payment: The application fee can be paid online using net banking, credit or debit cards.

 

UPTU M.Tech Exam Pattern 2018

 

The UPTU M.Tech 2018 entrance exam was conducted in offline pen-and-paper mode on June 10. Candidates were given OMR sheets where they have to enter their responses. Here are other exam details:

  • The language of the question paper will be Hindi and English

  • Question type will be multiple chouice

  • For a correct answer, 4 marks will be awarded while 1 mark will be deducted for incorrect attempt.

  • The duration of the exam will be  2 hours

 

Related Articles

UPTU M.Tech Admission 2015
Suggested Reading: UPTU M.Tech

QNA – EXAM QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

UPTU M Tech Admission

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ishank goyal 2 months ago

ishank goyals picture
Ishank Goyal Last Seen: 2 months 11 hours agoJoined on: 28-Jun-2017Education Interest: M.E /Mtech.Education Level: Graduate & Above
GATE GATE Counselling M.tech UPTU M Tech Admission

Sir I want to know gate qualified student are compulsory to attend uptu mtech entrance exam or they can go direct counselling procedure .

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viruu 2 months ago

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Viruu Last Seen: 2 months 14 hours agoJoined on: 28-Feb-2018Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: Graduate & Above

yes you need to give the exam as you air thert uyt in the eexaj

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Akansha sinha 3 months ago

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Akansha Sinha Last Seen: 2 months 1 week agoJoined on: 16-Apr-2014Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: In Graduation
Engineering UPTU M Tech Admission

What is the syllabus for a civil student

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H

Harsh 3 months ago

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Harsh Last Seen: 3 weeks 4 days agoJoined on: 01-Apr-2017Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: In Graduation

Every semester has different subjects 

Fluid mechanics

Building construction material

Structure analysis

ED engineering drawing

Are some of main subjects

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pankaj yadav 3 months ago

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Pankaj Yadav Last Seen: 1 week 2 days agoJoined on: 13-Mar-2018Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: Class 12
UPTU M Tech Admission Engineering

How many colleges are participating in uptu?

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somya rai 3 months ago

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Somya Rai Last Seen: 1 month 1 week agoJoined on: 04-May-2018Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: In Graduation
T 80,000 are admitted into various programmes.The medium of instruction and examination is English.
WBST250515
WBVDA
List of UPTU Affiliated Colleges
1.ANAND ENGINEERING COLLEGE  AGRA
2.FACULTY…Read More
T 80,000 are admitted into various programmes.The medium of instruction and examination is English.
WBST250515
WBVDA

List of UPTU Affiliated Colleges
1.ANAND ENGINEERING COLLEGE  AGRA
2.FACULTY OF ENGINEERING & TECHNOLOGY   AGRA 3.HINDUSTAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY AND MANAGEMENT   AGRA
4.RAJA BALWANT SINGH ENGINEERING TECHNICAL CAMPUS, BICHPURI, AGRA    AGRA  
5.RAJA BALWANT SINGH MANAGEMENT TECHNICAL CAMPUS, AGRA
6.AGRA PUBLIC INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY & COMPUTER EDUCATION (DEPTT. OF PHARMACY)
AGRA
  7.SHIVDAN SINGH INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY & MANAGEMENT    ALIGARH
8. UNITED COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING & RESEARCH ALLAHABAD
9.UNITED INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT ALLAHABAD
10.PHARMACY COLLEGE AZAMGARH
11.SHRI GOPICHAND COLLEGE OF PHARMACY BAGHPAT
12.SHRI RAM MURTI SMARAK COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING & TECHNOLOGY BAREILLY
13.RAKSHPAL BAHADUR MANAGEMENT INSTITUTE BAREILLY
14.VEERA COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING, BIJNOR 15.BABU BANARSI DAS INSTITUTE OF ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY & RESEARCH CENTRE BULANDSHAHAR
16.MARATHWADA INST. OF TECHNOLOGY ,BULANDSHAHAR
17.JHUNJHUNWALA BUSINESS SCHOOL FAIZABAD

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Laljee Laljeet 3 months ago

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Laljee Laljeet Last Seen: 1 month 4 weeks agoJoined on: 27-Apr-2018Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: In Graduation
B.tech UPTU M Tech Admission

What cut of sc in b.tech entrance

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Nikhil Sharma 3 months ago

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Nikhil Sharma Last Seen: 14 hours 8 min agoJoined on: 15-May-2018Education Interest: ManagementEducation Level: In Graduation


Hii Laljee

Can you be more specific in your query to get an accurate answers.


Hope to hear from you.

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Vishal 1 year ago

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Vishal Last Seen: 1 year 1 week agoJoined on: 27-Apr-2016Education Interest: B.E /Btech.Education Level: Class 12
Computer Science Engineering UPTU M Tech Admission JSS Academy of Technical Education, Noida Placements Jaypee University of Engineering and Technology, Guna Jaypee University of Engineering and Technology, Guna Placements Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Bangalore Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Bangalore Placements

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Nmit banglore vs juet guna vs jss noida for cse in terms of placement and packages

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Ronak sanghvi 5 months ago

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Ronak Sanghvi Last Seen: 2 months 3 weeks agoJoined on: 03-Apr-2015Education Interest: EngineeringEducation Level: In Graduation

juet guna and nmit banglore both are good in terms of placement 

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Essay Tips: 7 Tips on Writing an Effective Essay

Essays can be crucial to admissions and scholarship decisions.

By The Fastweb Team

November 22, 2017

Essay Tips: 7 Tips on Writing an Effective Essay

Writing an essay often seems to be a dreaded task among students. Whether the essay is for a scholarship , a class, or maybe even a contest, many students often find the task overwhelming. While an essay is a large project, there are many steps a student can take that will help break down the task into manageable parts. Following this process is the easiest way to draft a successful essay, whatever its purpose might be.

According to Kathy Livingston’s Guide to Writing a Basic Essay , there are seven steps to writing a successful essay:

1. Pick a topic.

You may have your topic assigned, or you may be given free reign to write on the subject of your choice. If you are given the topic, you should think about the type of paper that you want to produce. Should it be a general overview of the subject or a specific analysis? Narrow your focus if necessary.

If you have not been assigned a topic, you have a little more work to do. However, this opportunity also gives you the advantage to choose a subject that is interesting or relevant to you. First, define your purpose. Is your essay to inform or persuade?

Once you have determined the purpose, you will need to do some research on topics that you find intriguing. Think about your life. What is it that interests you? Jot these subjects down.

Finally, evaluate your options. If your goal is to educate, choose a subject that you have already studied. If your goal is to persuade, choose a subject that you are passionate about. Whatever the mission of the essay, make sure that you are interested in your topic.

2. Prepare an outline or diagram of your ideas.

In order to write a successful essay, you must organize your thoughts. By taking what’s already in your head and putting it to paper, you are able to see connections and links between ideas more clearly. This structure serves as a foundation for your paper. Use either an outline or a diagram to jot down your ideas and organize them.

To create a diagram, write your topic in the middle of your page. Draw three to five lines branching off from this topic and write down your main ideas at the ends of these lines. Draw more lines off these main ideas and include any thoughts you may have on these ideas.

If you prefer to create an outline, write your topic at the top of the page. From there, begin to list your main ideas, leaving space under each one. In this space, make sure to list other smaller ideas that relate to each main idea. Doing this will allow you to see connections and will help you to write a more organized essay.

3. Write your thesis statement.

Now that you have chosen a topic and sorted your ideas into relevant categories, you must create a thesis statement. Your thesis statement tells the reader the point of your essay . Look at your outline or diagram. What are the main ideas?

Your thesis statement will have two parts. The first part states the topic, and the second part states the point of the essay. For instance, if you were writing about Bill Clinton and his impact on the United States, an appropriate thesis statement would be, “Bill Clinton has impacted the future of our country through his two consecutive terms as United States President.”

Another example of a thesis statement is this one for the “Winning Characteristics” Scholarship essay: “During my high school career, I have exhibited several of the “Winning Characteristics,” including Communication Skills, Leadership Skills and Organization Skills, through my involvement in Student Government, National Honor Society, and a part-time job at Macy’s Department Store.”

4. Write the body.

The body of your essay argues, explains or describes your topic. Each main idea that you wrote in your diagram or outline will become a separate section within the body of your essay.

Each body paragraph will have the same basic structure. Begin by writing one of your main ideas as the introductory sentence. Next, write each of your supporting ideas in sentence format, but leave three or four lines in between each point to come back and give detailed examples to back up your position. Fill in these spaces with relative information that will help link smaller ideas together.

5. Write the introduction.

Now that you have developed your thesis and the overall body of your essay, you must write an introduction. The introduction should attract the reader’s attention and show the focus of your essay.

Begin with an attention grabber. You can use shocking information, dialogue, a story, a quote, or a simple summary of your topic. Whichever angle you choose, make sure that it ties in with your thesis statement, which will be included as the last sentence of your introduction.

6. Write the conclusion.

The conclusion brings closure of the topic and sums up your overall ideas while providing a final perspective on your topic. Your conclusion should consist of three to five strong sentences. Simply review your main points and provide reinforcement of your thesis.

7. Add the finishing touches.

After writing your conclusion, you might think that you have completed your essay. Wrong. Before you consider this a finished work, you must pay attention to all the small details.

Check the order of your paragraphs. Your strongest points should be the first and last paragraphs within the body, with the others falling in the middle. Also, make sure that your paragraph order makes sense. If your essay is describing a process, such as how to make a great chocolate cake, make sure that your paragraphs fall in the correct order.

Review the instructions for your essay, if applicable. Many teachers and scholarship forms follow different formats, and you must double check instructions to ensure that your essay is in the desired format.

Finally, review what you have written. Reread your paper and check to see if it makes sense. Make sure that sentence flow is smooth and add phrases to help connect thoughts or ideas. Check your essay for grammar and spelling mistakes.

Congratulations! You have just written a great essay.

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actor writer novello crossword

Crossword Clue Solver – The Crossword Solver

Actor/composer Novello – Crossword Clue

Below are possible answers for the crossword clue Actor/composer Novello.

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Other crossword clues with similar answers to ‘Actor/composer Novello’

“Gosford Park” character
“War’s Embers” poet Gurne
— Novello, composer
Actor and songwriter Nove
Actor Novello
Actor-songwriter Novello
Actor/songwriter Novello
English poet/composer Gur
Songwriter Novello
__ Novello, Welsh composer and songwriter, d. 1951

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Similar hints

  • ___ Novello Award (British music prize)
  • ___ Novello Award for songwriters
  • “Gosford Park” character ___ Novello
  • “The Dancing Years” composer Novello
  • “The Lodger” actor Novello
  • Actor and songwriter Novello
  • Actor Novello
  • Actor-composer Novello
  • Actor-playwright-composer Novello
  • Actor-songsmith Novello
  • Actor-songwriter Novello
  • Actor-writer Novello
  • Composer Novello
  • Composer Novello and German poet Gurney
  • Composer Novello of British theatre
  • Father ___ Sarducci (Don Novello’s “SNL” character)
  • First name of classic welsh actor,Novello
  • Light music composer Novello
  • Novello
  • Novello of musical comedy
  • Novello et al.
  • Novello of “The Lodger”
  • Novello of “The White Rose”
  • Novello of films
  • Novello of old films
  • Novello of old movies
  • Novello who played the title role in Hitchcock’s “The Lodger”
  • Playwright Novello
  • Songwriter Novello
  • Welch actor Novello
  • Welsh actor Novello


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illinois school of health careers chicago cumberland

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You are here: Home / Online Schools / Illinois School of Health Careers

Illinois School of Health Careers

Illinois School of Health Careers prepares students for some of the most in-demand professions. The school’s comprehensive curriculum focuses on clinical skills, as well as the skills needed to find a job.

Located in the Loop area of Chicago, the school has a second campus in Chicago’s Cumberland region.

The school’s academics train students for select healthcare careers, like:

  • Dental Assisting
  • Medical Assisting
  • Patient Care Technology

Students in all programs must also take two courses in employment preparation. These classes guide students through the job search and teach them proper interviewing and resume writing skills, as well as how to dress professionally.

For admissions to Illinois School of Health Careers, applicants must be at least 17 years old and schedule an interview with an admissions advisor. Materials required for admissions include a copy of one’s diploma or GED, an admissions application and proof of a physical exam and vaccinations.

The school awards scholarships to a select number of high school seniors. Students may also apply for other types of financial aid, mainly grants and loans. The main eligibility requirements for financial aid include one’s financial need and financial aid history. To continue receiving aid, students must maintain a certain GPA.

Subjects

  • Accounting Degree
  • Accounting Information
  • Advertising Design Degree
  • Applied Management
  • Applied Management Information
  • Architecture
  • Associate in Accounting Degree
  • Associate in Accounting Information
  • Associate in Business
  • Associate in Business Information
  • Associate in Fashion Design
  • Associate in Graphic Design
  • Associate in Marketing
  • Associate in Marketing Information
  • Audio Production
  • Audio Production & Recording
  • Bachelor in Accounting Degree
  • Bachelor in Accounting Information
  • Bachelor in Animation Degree
  • Bachelor in Business
  • Bachelor in Communications Degree
  • Bachelor in E-Business
  • Bachelor in Fashion Design
  • Bachelor in Finance
  • Bachelor in Game Design
  • Bachelor in Graphic Design Online
  • Bachelor in HR
  • Bachelor in Information Systems
  • Bachelor in Interior Design
  • Bachelor in International Business
  • Bachelor in Management
  • Bachelor in Marketing
  • Bachelor in Multimedia
  • Bachelor in Organizational Leadership
  • Bachelor in Tech Management
  • Bachelor in Visual Communications
  • Banking and Financial Management
  • Broadcasting
  • Business
  • Business Information
  • CAD/Computer Aided Drafting
  • Certificate in Accounting
  • Certificate in Business
  • Communications Study
  • Computer Animation
  • Contract Management
  • E-Business
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Executive MBA
  • Fashion Design and Merchandising
  • Film & Television Production
  • Finance
  • Fine Arts Degrees
  • Graduate Certificates
  • Graphic Design Degree
  • Human Resources
  • Industrial Design
  • Information Systems
  • Insurance
  • Interactive Media Design Degree
  • Interior Design Online
  • International Business
  • Marketing Degrees
  • MBA
  • MBA in Accounting
  • MBA in Finance
  • MBA in HR
  • MBA in Information Systems
  • MBA in International Business
  • MBA in Management
  • MBA in Marketing
  • MBA in Organizational Leadership
  • MBA in Tech Management
  • Multimedia Design
  • Non-profit Management
  • Office Management
  • Organizational Leadership
  • PhD in Business
  • Photography
  • Print Design
  • Project Management (PMP)
  • Public Relations
  • Real Estate Management
  • Retail Management
  • Risk Management
  • Six Sigma
  • Small Business Management
  • Sports Management
  • Supply Chain Management
  • Technology Management
  • Video Game Design
  • Visual Communication Degrees
  • Web Design
  • American College of Education
  • American Public University System
  • Argosy University-Phoenix Online Division
  • Charter Oak State College
  • Columbia Southern University
  • Excelsior College
  • Grantham University
  • International Academy of Design and Technology-Online
  • Kaplan University
  • Northcentral University
  • Strayer University
  • The Art Institute of Pittsburgh-Online Division
  • Trident University International
  • University of Phoenix-Online Campus
  • Art  Design
  • Business
  • Criminal Justice
  • Education
  • Engineering
  • Healthcare
  • Human Services
  • Humanities  Sciences
  • IT  Computer Science
  • Law  Paralegal
  • MBA
  • Nursing
  • Psychology
  • Religious Studies
  • Social Work
  • Vocational Programs

Degrees

  • Accounting Degree
  • Accounting Information
  • Advertising Design Degree
  • Applied Management
  • Applied Management Information
  • Architecture
  • Associate in Accounting Degree
  • Associate in Accounting Information
  • Associate in Business
  • Associate in Business Information
  • Associate in Fashion Design
  • Associate in Graphic Design
  • Associate in Marketing
  • Associate in Marketing Information
  • Audio Production
  • Audio Production & Recording
  • Bachelor in Accounting Degree
  • Bachelor in Accounting Information
  • Bachelor in Animation Degree
  • Bachelor in Business
  • Bachelor in Communications Degree
  • Bachelor in E-Business
  • Bachelor in Fashion Design
  • Bachelor in Finance
  • Bachelor in Game Design
  • Bachelor in Graphic Design Online
  • Bachelor in HR
  • Bachelor in Information Systems
  • Bachelor in Interior Design
  • Bachelor in International Business
  • Bachelor in Management
  • Bachelor in Marketing
  • Bachelor in Multimedia
  • Bachelor in Organizational Leadership
  • Bachelor in Tech Management
  • Bachelor in Visual Communications
  • Banking and Financial Management
  • Broadcasting
  • Business
  • Business Information
  • CAD/Computer Aided Drafting
  • Certificate in Accounting
  • Certificate in Business
  • Communications Study
  • Computer Animation
  • Contract Management
  • E-Business
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Executive MBA
  • Fashion Design and Merchandising
  • Film & Television Production
  • Finance
  • Fine Arts Degrees
  • Graduate Certificates
  • Graphic Design Degree
  • Human Resources
  • Industrial Design
  • Information Systems
  • Insurance
  • Interactive Media Design Degree
  • Interior Design Online
  • International Business
  • Marketing Degrees
  • MBA
  • MBA in Accounting
  • MBA in Finance
  • MBA in HR
  • MBA in Information Systems
  • MBA in International Business
  • MBA in Management
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  • MBA in Organizational Leadership
  • MBA in Tech Management
  • Multimedia Design
  • Non-profit Management
  • Office Management
  • Organizational Leadership
  • PhD in Business
  • Photography
  • Print Design
  • Project Management (PMP)
  • Public Relations
  • Real Estate Management
  • Retail Management
  • Risk Management
  • Six Sigma
  • Small Business Management
  • Sports Management
  • Supply Chain Management
  • Technology Management
  • Video Game Design
  • Visual Communication Degrees
  • Web Design
  • American College of Education
  • American Public University System
  • Argosy University-Phoenix Online Division
  • Charter Oak State College
  • Columbia Southern University
  • Excelsior College
  • Grantham University
  • International Academy of Design and Technology-Online
  • Kaplan University
  • Northcentral University
  • Strayer University
  • The Art Institute of Pittsburgh-Online Division
  • Trident University International
  • University of Phoenix-Online Campus
  • Art  Design
  • Business
  • Criminal Justice
  • Education
  • Engineering
  • Healthcare
  • Human Services
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  • IT  Computer Science
  • Law  Paralegal
  • MBA
  • Nursing
  • Psychology
  • Religious Studies
  • Social Work
  • Vocational Programs

Top Online Degrees

  • Accounting Degree
  • Accounting Information
  • Advertising Design Degree
  • Applied Management
  • Applied Management Information
  • Architecture
  • Associate in Accounting Degree
  • Associate in Accounting Information
  • Associate in Business
  • Associate in Business Information
  • Associate in Fashion Design
  • Associate in Graphic Design
  • Associate in Marketing
  • Associate in Marketing Information
  • Audio Production
  • Audio Production & Recording
  • Bachelor in Accounting Degree
  • Bachelor in Accounting Information
  • Bachelor in Animation Degree
  • Bachelor in Business
  • Bachelor in Communications Degree
  • Bachelor in E-Business
  • Bachelor in Fashion Design
  • Bachelor in Finance
  • Bachelor in Game Design
  • Bachelor in Graphic Design Online
  • Bachelor in HR
  • Bachelor in Information Systems
  • Bachelor in Interior Design
  • Bachelor in International Business
  • Bachelor in Management
  • Bachelor in Marketing
  • Bachelor in Multimedia
  • Bachelor in Organizational Leadership
  • Bachelor in Tech Management
  • Bachelor in Visual Communications
  • Banking and Financial Management
  • Broadcasting
  • Business
  • Business Information
  • CAD/Computer Aided Drafting
  • Certificate in Accounting
  • Certificate in Business
  • Communications Study
  • Computer Animation
  • Contract Management
  • E-Business
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Executive MBA
  • Fashion Design and Merchandising
  • Film & Television Production
  • Finance
  • Fine Arts Degrees
  • Graduate Certificates
  • Graphic Design Degree
  • Human Resources
  • Industrial Design
  • Information Systems
  • Insurance
  • Interactive Media Design Degree
  • Interior Design Online
  • International Business
  • Marketing Degrees
  • MBA
  • MBA in Accounting
  • MBA in Finance
  • MBA in HR
  • MBA in Information Systems
  • MBA in International Business
  • MBA in Management
  • MBA in Marketing
  • MBA in Organizational Leadership
  • MBA in Tech Management
  • Multimedia Design
  • Non-profit Management
  • Office Management
  • Organizational Leadership
  • PhD in Business
  • Photography
  • Print Design
  • Project Management (PMP)
  • Public Relations
  • Real Estate Management
  • Retail Management
  • Risk Management
  • Six Sigma
  • Small Business Management
  • Sports Management
  • Supply Chain Management
  • Technology Management
  • Video Game Design
  • Visual Communication Degrees
  • Web Design
  • American College of Education
  • American Public University System
  • Argosy University-Phoenix Online Division
  • Charter Oak State College
  • Columbia Southern University
  • Excelsior College
  • Grantham University
  • International Academy of Design and Technology-Online
  • Kaplan University
  • Northcentral University
  • Strayer University
  • The Art Institute of Pittsburgh-Online Division
  • Trident University International
  • University of Phoenix-Online Campus
  • Art  Design
  • Business
  • Criminal Justice
  • Education
  • Engineering
  • Healthcare
  • Human Services
  • Humanities  Sciences
  • IT  Computer Science
  • Law  Paralegal
  • MBA
  • Nursing
  • Psychology
  • Religious Studies
  • Social Work
  • Vocational Programs

Resources

  • Accounting Degree
  • Accounting Information
  • Advertising Design Degree
  • Applied Management
  • Applied Management Information
  • Architecture
  • Associate in Accounting Degree
  • Associate in Accounting Information
  • Associate in Business
  • Associate in Business Information
  • Associate in Fashion Design
  • Associate in Graphic Design
  • Associate in Marketing
  • Associate in Marketing Information
  • Audio Production
  • Audio Production & Recording
  • Bachelor in Accounting Degree
  • Bachelor in Accounting Information
  • Bachelor in Animation Degree
  • Bachelor in Business
  • Bachelor in Communications Degree
  • Bachelor in E-Business
  • Bachelor in Fashion Design
  • Bachelor in Finance
  • Bachelor in Game Design
  • Bachelor in Graphic Design Online
  • Bachelor in HR
  • Bachelor in Information Systems
  • Bachelor in Interior Design
  • Bachelor in International Business
  • Bachelor in Management
  • Bachelor in Marketing
  • Bachelor in Multimedia
  • Bachelor in Organizational Leadership
  • Bachelor in Tech Management
  • Bachelor in Visual Communications
  • Banking and Financial Management
  • Broadcasting
  • Business
  • Business Information
  • CAD/Computer Aided Drafting
  • Certificate in Accounting
  • Certificate in Business
  • Communications Study
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  • Executive MBA
  • Fashion Design and Merchandising
  • Film & Television Production
  • Finance
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  • Graphic Design Degree
  • Human Resources
  • Industrial Design
  • Information Systems
  • Insurance
  • Interactive Media Design Degree
  • Interior Design Online
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  • MBA
  • MBA in Accounting
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  • MBA in HR
  • MBA in Information Systems
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  • Photography
  • Print Design
  • Project Management (PMP)
  • Public Relations
  • Real Estate Management
  • Retail Management
  • Risk Management
  • Six Sigma
  • Small Business Management
  • Sports Management
  • Supply Chain Management
  • Technology Management
  • Video Game Design
  • Visual Communication Degrees
  • Web Design
  • American College of Education
  • American Public University System
  • Argosy University-Phoenix Online Division
  • Charter Oak State College
  • Columbia Southern University
  • Excelsior College
  • Grantham University
  • International Academy of Design and Technology-Online
  • Kaplan University
  • Northcentral University
  • Strayer University
  • The Art Institute of Pittsburgh-Online Division
  • Trident University International
  • University of Phoenix-Online Campus
  • Art  Design
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  • Criminal Justice
  • Education
  • Engineering
  • Healthcare
  • Human Services
  • Humanities  Sciences
  • IT  Computer Science
  • Law  Paralegal
  • MBA
  • Nursing
  • Psychology
  • Religious Studies
  • Social Work
  • Vocational Programs

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You are here: Home / Online Schools / Illinois School of Health Careers

Illinois School of Health Careers

Illinois School of Health Careers prepares students for some of the most in-demand professions. The school’s comprehensive curriculum focuses on clinical skills, as well as the skills needed to find a job.

Located in the Loop area of Chicago, the school has a second campus in Chicago’s Cumberland region.

The school’s academics train students for select healthcare careers, like:

  • Dental Assisting
  • Medical Assisting
  • Patient Care Technology

Students in all programs must also take two courses in employment preparation. These classes guide students through the job search and teach them proper interviewing and resume writing skills, as well as how to dress professionally.

For admissions to Illinois School of Health Careers, applicants must be at least 17 years old and schedule an interview with an admissions advisor. Materials required for admissions include a copy of one’s diploma or GED, an admissions application and proof of a physical exam and vaccinations.

The school awards scholarships to a select number of high school seniors. Students may also apply for other types of financial aid, mainly grants and loans. The main eligibility requirements for financial aid include one’s financial need and financial aid history. To continue receiving aid, students must maintain a certain GPA.

Subjects

  • Accounting Degree
  • Accounting Information
  • Advertising Design Degree
  • Applied Management
  • Applied Management Information
  • Architecture
  • Associate in Accounting Degree
  • Associate in Accounting Information
  • Associate in Business
  • Associate in Business Information
  • Associate in Fashion Design
  • Associate in Graphic Design
  • Associate in Marketing
  • Associate in Marketing Information
  • Audio Production
  • Audio Production & Recording
  • Bachelor in Accounting Degree
  • Bachelor in Accounting Information
  • Bachelor in Animation Degree
  • Bachelor in Business
  • Bachelor in Communications Degree
  • Bachelor in E-Business
  • Bachelor in Fashion Design
  • Bachelor in Finance
  • Bachelor in Game Design
  • Bachelor in Graphic Design Online
  • Bachelor in HR
  • Bachelor in Information Systems
  • Bachelor in Interior Design
  • Bachelor in International Business
  • Bachelor in Management
  • Bachelor in Marketing
  • Bachelor in Multimedia
  • Bachelor in Organizational Leadership
  • Bachelor in Tech Management
  • Bachelor in Visual Communications
  • Banking and Financial Management
  • Broadcasting
  • Business
  • Business Information
  • CAD/Computer Aided Drafting
  • Certificate in Accounting
  • Certificate in Business
  • Communications Study
  • Computer Animation
  • Contract Management
  • E-Business
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Executive MBA
  • Fashion Design and Merchandising
  • Film & Television Production
  • Finance
  • Fine Arts Degrees
  • Graduate Certificates
  • Graphic Design Degree
  • Human Resources
  • Industrial Design
  • Information Systems
  • Insurance
  • Interactive Media Design Degree
  • Interior Design Online
  • International Business
  • Marketing Degrees
  • MBA
  • MBA in Accounting
  • MBA in Finance
  • MBA in HR
  • MBA in Information Systems
  • MBA in International Business
  • MBA in Management
  • MBA in Marketing
  • MBA in Organizational Leadership
  • MBA in Tech Management
  • Multimedia Design
  • Non-profit Management
  • Office Management
  • Organizational Leadership
  • PhD in Business
  • Photography
  • Print Design
  • Project Management (PMP)
  • Public Relations
  • Real Estate Management
  • Retail Management
  • Risk Management
  • Six Sigma
  • Small Business Management
  • Sports Management
  • Supply Chain Management
  • Technology Management
  • Video Game Design
  • Visual Communication Degrees
  • Web Design
  • American College of Education
  • American Public University System
  • Argosy University-Phoenix Online Division
  • Charter Oak State College
  • Columbia Southern University
  • Excelsior College
  • Grantham University
  • International Academy of Design and Technology-Online
  • Kaplan University
  • Northcentral University
  • Strayer University
  • The Art Institute of Pittsburgh-Online Division
  • Trident University International
  • University of Phoenix-Online Campus
  • Art  Design
  • Business
  • Criminal Justice
  • Education
  • Engineering
  • Healthcare
  • Human Services
  • Humanities  Sciences
  • IT  Computer Science
  • Law  Paralegal
  • MBA
  • Nursing
  • Psychology
  • Religious Studies
  • Social Work
  • Vocational Programs

Degrees

  • Accounting Degree
  • Accounting Information
  • Advertising Design Degree
  • Applied Management
  • Applied Management Information
  • Architecture
  • Associate in Accounting Degree
  • Associate in Accounting Information
  • Associate in Business
  • Associate in Business Information
  • Associate in Fashion Design
  • Associate in Graphic Design
  • Associate in Marketing
  • Associate in Marketing Information
  • Audio Production
  • Audio Production & Recording
  • Bachelor in Accounting Degree
  • Bachelor in Accounting Information
  • Bachelor in Animation Degree
  • Bachelor in Business
  • Bachelor in Communications Degree
  • Bachelor in E-Business
  • Bachelor in Fashion Design
  • Bachelor in Finance
  • Bachelor in Game Design
  • Bachelor in Graphic Design Online
  • Bachelor in HR
  • Bachelor in Information Systems
  • Bachelor in Interior Design
  • Bachelor in International Business
  • Bachelor in Management
  • Bachelor in Marketing
  • Bachelor in Multimedia
  • Bachelor in Organizational Leadership
  • Bachelor in Tech Management
  • Bachelor in Visual Communications
  • Banking and Financial Management
  • Broadcasting
  • Business
  • Business Information
  • CAD/Computer Aided Drafting
  • Certificate in Accounting
  • Certificate in Business
  • Communications Study
  • Computer Animation
  • Contract Management
  • E-Business
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Executive MBA
  • Fashion Design and Merchandising
  • Film & Television Production
  • Finance
  • Fine Arts Degrees
  • Graduate Certificates
  • Graphic Design Degree
  • Human Resources
  • Industrial Design
  • Information Systems
  • Insurance
  • Interactive Media Design Degree
  • Interior Design Online
  • International Business
  • Marketing Degrees
  • MBA
  • MBA in Accounting
  • MBA in Finance
  • MBA in HR
  • MBA in Information Systems
  • MBA in International Business
  • MBA in Management
  • MBA in Marketing
  • MBA in Organizational Leadership
  • MBA in Tech Management
  • Multimedia Design
  • Non-profit Management
  • Office Management
  • Organizational Leadership
  • PhD in Business
  • Photography
  • Print Design
  • Project Management (PMP)
  • Public Relations
  • Real Estate Management
  • Retail Management
  • Risk Management
  • Six Sigma
  • Small Business Management
  • Sports Management
  • Supply Chain Management
  • Technology Management
  • Video Game Design
  • Visual Communication Degrees
  • Web Design
  • American College of Education
  • American Public University System
  • Argosy University-Phoenix Online Division
  • Charter Oak State College
  • Columbia Southern University
  • Excelsior College
  • Grantham University
  • International Academy of Design and Technology-Online
  • Kaplan University
  • Northcentral University
  • Strayer University
  • The Art Institute of Pittsburgh-Online Division
  • Trident University International
  • University of Phoenix-Online Campus
  • Art  Design
  • Business
  • Criminal Justice
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monday morning school song

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Monday Morning Go to School

  • folk songs
  • Monday Morning Go to School

Monday Morning Go to School

  • folk songs
  • 0

Lyrics

Monday morning go to school,
Friday evening home.
Brother, comb my sweetheart’s hair
As we go marching home.

So many possibilities for making up other lyrics!

Try something like this: Replace the lyrics with public domain poems like these from A Child’s Garden of Verses, by Robert Louis Stevenson

Rain

The rain is raining all around.
It falls on field and tree,
It rains on the umbrellas here,
And on the ships at sea.

Singing

Of speckled eggs the birdie sings
And nests among the trees;
The sailor sings of ropes and things
In ships upon the seas.

The children sing in far Japan,
The children sing in Spain;
The organ with the organ man
Is singing in the rain.

Night and Day

When the golden day is done,
Through the closing portal,
Child and garden, flower and sun,
Vanish all things mortal.

As the blinding showers fall,
As the rays diminish,
Under evening’s cloak they all
Roll away and vanish.

Garden darkened, daisy shut,
Child in bed, they slumber—
Glow-worm in the highway rut,
Mice among the lumber.

In the darkness houses shine,
Parents move with candles
Till on all, the night divine
Turns the bedroom handles.

Till at last the day begins
In the east a-breaking,
In the hedges and the whins
Sleeping birds a-waking.

In the darkness shapes of things,
Houses, trees and hedges,
Clearer grow; and sparrow’s wings
Beat on window ledges.

These shall wake the yawning maid,
She the door shall open—
Finding dew on garden glade
And the morning broken.

There my garden grows again
Green and rosy painted,
As at eve behind the pane
From my eyes it fainted.

Just as it was shut away,
Toy-like, in the even,
Here I see it glow with day
Under glowing heaven.

Every path and every plot,
Every bush of roses,
Every blue forget-me-not
Where the dew reposes.

‘Up! they cry, ‘the day is come
On the smiling valleys;
We have beat the morning drum;
Playmate, join your allies!’

Links

  • more songs about the weather
  • more songs with I IV V chords

The following content is available below to Plus Members :

  • PDF includes:
    • Song with chords
  • MIDI file
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House M.D.

House M.D.

  • Rating: 8.80
  • Year of issue: 2004
  • Genres: Mystery, Drama
  • Countries: United States
  • Duration: 44 minutes
  • Complexity: 9

Doctor House is a brilliant physician-diagnostician, but he is not always understood by his colleagues and patients. Like many prominent people, he is a little arrogant and antisocial, but his theories about how to solve puzzling cases in medicine save many lives.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 1.
    Pilot

    Description

    Young kindergarten teacher Rebecca Adler collapses in her classroom after uncontrolled gibberish slips out of her mouth while she is about to teach students.
  • 2.
    Paternity

    Description

    The team help a high school boy (16) who has double vision and night terrors. (Clinic Cases: Unvaccinated baby, man with boil on leg.)
  • 3.
    Occam’s Razor

    Description

    A college boy whose low blood pressure does not respond with IV fluids piques House’s curiosity. Clinic Cases: A woman who had a cold last week, man with a sore throat, woman whose leg hurts after running 6 miles, a boy and his MP3 Player.
  • 4.
    Maternity

    Description

    A nightmare scenario hits Princeton Plainsboro when babies in the maternity ward are hit by a potentially fatal epidemic. Clinic Cases: Woman with a parasite!
  • 5.
    Damned If You Do

    Description

    A nun arrives at the clinic with what appears to be a skin rash caused by an allergy, and starts to go into anaphylactic shock in reaction to the medication Dr. House gives her. When he then gives her an injection of epinephrine, she goes into cardiac arrest, leading Dr. Cuddy to assume that House gave her an accidental overdose. Absolutely sure that he gave the patient the correct dosage, House begins a series of unorthodox treatments to uncover the truth, and also does a bit of snooping into the sister’s past.
  • 6.
    The Socratic Method

    Description

    When it appears that Lucy Palmeiro, a schizophrenic mom with deep vein thrombosis, is lying about her alcohol intake, Dr. House is the lone voice of reason. Under the scrutiny of her hyper-vigilant teenage son, House takes Lucy off all her medication and secretly sends Foreman and Chase to search her apartment for clues.
  • 7.
    Fidelity

    Description

    A woman comes down with symptoms of African sleeping sickness, but there seems to be no way she could have contracted it. House and his aides must ask a few tough questions and make some tough decisions in order to try to save her.
  • 8.
    Poison

    Description

    A high school boy has hallucinations and collapses during an exam. When he does not respond to treatments, and the normal tests are negative Foreman presents the case to House. Clinic Cases: A happy old lady.
  • 9.
    DNR

    Description

    A famous and paralyzed jazz musician has trouble breathing and passes out during a session, but it is his unexplained paralysis that concerns him most. The team’s job is made more complicated by a DNR order that House thinks is a mistake. Clinic Cases: A diabetic man in denial.
  • 10.
    Histories

    Description

    A homeless woman collapses at an illegal rave house. Foreman blows off the consult that Wilson asks for, and House is intrigued by Foreman’s and Wilson’s reactions. Clinic Cases: A mother with lots of kids; House pretends to be ill so he ends up teaching med students about taking histories.
  • 11.
    Detox

    Description

    A girl crashes a Porsche after her boyfriend starts coughing up blood and continues to have unexplained bleeds. Clinic Cases: Cuddy give House a month off clinic duties if he can spend a week off his pain meds.
  • 12.
    Sports Medicine

    Description

    A detoxed sports star about to make his comeback breaks his arm due to brittle bones. Clinic Cases: Woman with leg pain; man trying to remove his contact lenses; a dentist with various issues and a hung over teenager; all in 70 seconds.
  • 13.
    Cursed

    Description

    A young boy has a fever for over a week after a Ouija board predicts he will die. Clinic Cases: Chase’s case of a man with numb fingers.
  • 14.
    Control

    Description

    Can House save a high powered female executive from the same problem that has left him in constant pain? A new head of the hospital board could cause problems. Clinic cases: A boy and his mute dad.
  • 15.
    Mob Rules

    Description

    A Mob informer collapses before trial. Is he faking or is he really in a coma? Clinic Cases: A pair of brothers come in when the youngster gets toys stuck up his nose.
  • 16.
    Heavy

    Description

    A morbidly obese ten-year-old girl has a heart attack, and her mother insists that House and his team look past her weight to find the diagnosis. Meanwhile, Vogler pressures House to fire a member of his staff. Clinic Patients: Unidentified man with an infected pierced scrotum; overweight woman with a 30-pound tumor on her ovaries who refuses to have it removed, because she worries she will be unattractive.
  • 17.
    Role Model

    Description

    House treats a black presidential candidate, who House is convinced has AIDS, but the Senator’s passion convinces him otherwise. Also, Vogler forces House to give a speech endorsing a new drug from Vogler’s company, but House has plans of his own. Clinic Cases: A woman showing signs of having had a miscarriage claims she’s not having sex despite a hickey and carpet burns on her backside.
  • 18.
    Babies & Bathwater

    Description

    While House and his team scramble to discover what’s causing brain and kidney dysfunction in a pregnant woman, Vogler is on the warpath to get House fired.
  • 19.
    Kids

    Description

    During a meningitis outbreak which overwhelms the clinic, House is drawn to a single patient: a 12-year-old competitive diver whose symptoms don’t quite match everyone else’s.
  • 20.
    Love Hurts

    Description

    House apparently triggers a stroke in a clinic patient, but the major topic of discussion is House’s imminent date with Cameron. The team must deal with the patient’s odd lifestyle, overbearing “friend”, and reluctant parents in order to stop the strokes and try to save his life.
  • 21.
    Three Stories

    Description

    House’s ex Stacy Warner asks him to treat her husband. House takes over a diagnostics class for a day and presents the class with three case studies of leg pain. As House tells his story and the class gradually fills up with listeners, the class learns a lot about how to be better doctors, and Chase, Foreman and Cameron learn some important details of House’s past.
  • 22.
    Honeymoon

    Description

    House doses his ex-girlfriend’s husband in order to get him into hospital after she begs House to treat him. Is House treating Mark differently in order to get back at Stacy for his leg?
  • 1.
    Acceptance

    Description

    House treats a patient on death row while Dr. Cameron avoids telling a patient she has a terminal illness.
  • 2.
    Autopsy

    Description

    A very brave and mature 9-year-old girl has terminal cancer, but that is not what the problem seems to be.
  • 3.
    Humpty Dumpty

    Description

    Cuddy joins the team after her handyman falls off of her roof and begins to develop bizarre symptoms. Clinic Cases: African American man who objects to “minority meds.”
  • 4.
    TB or Not TB

    Description

    A doctor champions against the epidemic of TB in Africa, possibly at the risk of his own life.
  • 5.
    Daddy’s Boy

    Description

    The team takes care of a student with inexplicable electrical shocks, and House’s parents visit.
  • 6.
    Spin

    Description

    Star bicycle racer collapses, and the team must come up with a diagnosis after the patient admits to blood doping. House and Stacy continue sparring with each other. Clinic Case: Flight attendant poisons himself with gum.
  • 7.
    Hunting

    Description

    After being accused of assaulting a sick man, House is forced to take on his case. However, despite the fact that he has AIDS, it’s clearly not what’s killing him.
  • 8.
    The Mistake

    Description

    Chaos ensues after Chase’s negligence leads to the death of a female patient. Now, after an inquiry from the hospital board, and a subpoena from the patient’s brother, it’s up to Stacey to protect Chase’s career, as well as House’s.
  • 9.
    Deception

    Description

    A woman collapses at an off-track betting parlor in front of House, and he must battle his new boss to find her diagnosis.
  • 10.
    Failure to Communicate

    Description

    When a famous writer is brought in with language difficulties, House must assist via phone while waiting for a delayed plane.
  • 11.
    Need to Know

    Description

    House and the team must determine what is causing an increasingly deceitful patient’s muscle flailing. Stacy makes a decision, and Cameron avoids a test.
  • 12.
    Distractions

    Description

    A patient with 40% body burns and inexplicable cardiac and neurological signs is treated by the team, while House pursues disproving an old enemy’s medical study.
  • 13.
    Skin Deep

    Description

    The search for the cause of a supermodel’s symptoms causes intense feelings among the team, as new facts are revealed. Meanwhile, House experiences increasing pain in his leg.
  • 14.
    Sex Kills

    Description

    House and the team struggle to diagnose one patient in order to save another. Clinic Case: College student claims he has the hots for heifers.
  • 15.
    Clueless

    Description

    House must diagnose a man who became sick and experienced difficulty breathing during sex-play but all tests keep returning normal. Wilson experiences close-up what living with House is like. Clinic case: Herpes
  • 16.
    Safe

    Description

    6 months after a teenage girl crushes her chest in a car accident and receives a heart transplant she goes into anaphylactic shock in her clean room bedroom after her boyfriend almost kisses her and discovers something on her arm.
  • 17.
    All In

    Description

    On a class field trip, a teacher discovers that her six-year-old student, Ian, is bleeding profusely. Dr. House thinks Ian has the same unknown disease that killed an elderly patient of his years ago.
  • 18.
    Sleeping Dogs Lie

    Description

    A young woman swallows a bottle of sleeping pills – not to kill herself but to go to sleep, something she says she hasn’t done in 10 days. Then her case deteriorates, but her partner is in a perfect position to help her. Meanwhile, House keeps falling asleep because living with Wilson has disrupted his sleep pattern. Cameron’s mad at Foreman for swiping her ideas for a medical-journal article, and at House for letting him do it.
  • 19.
    House vs. God

    Description

    House takes on a teenage faith healer, Wilson desperately wants into a poker game, and tensions escalate between Cameron and Foreman.
  • 20.
    Euphoria: Part 1

    Description

    A police officer in critical condition has bizarre symptoms, and Dr. Foreman finds himself in an unpleasant situation.
  • 21.
    Euphoria: Part 2

    Description

    House tries radical procedures to save Foreman’s life. Foreman’s father visits.
  • 22.
    Forever

    Description

    A young mother suffers a seizure in the bathtub with her newborn son, nearly drowning him, and although the baby survives the near-drowning, his problems are far from over. Foreman returns to work with some minor brain dysfunction, and a personality change that drives House up the wall.
  • 23.
    Who’s Your Daddy?

    Description

    A Katrina survivor, presumably the granddaughter of a famous blues singer, convinces House’s friend Dylan Crandall that he is her father. When the girl is brought in with a deadly illness, House is sure the girl is faking, but Crandall wants her as his daughter and Crandall won’t agree to a paternity test. As House and team try to save the girl’s life, House and his conscience fight over the truth vs. his friend’s real desire to take the girl in.
  • 24.
    No Reason

    Description

    An old patient of House comes back and seeks revenge upon him in the form of gunshot.
  • 1.
    Meaning

    Description

    Richard, a husband and father living with brain cancer, drives his wheelchair into a pool at a family BBQ. Everyone but his son think that it was suicide from the pain but House will stop at nothing to figure out his true ailment.
  • 2.
    Cane and Able

    Description

    House is affected by the fact that he thinks he didn’t solve the last case while a young boy, who believes aliens tortured him, is brought in.
  • 3.
    Informed Consent

    Description

    House and his team face a lot of moral dilemmas when a patient wants them to help him end his life.
  • 4.
    Lines in the Sand

    Description

    A ten-year-old boy begins screaming in pain, but nobody knows why, because he is autistic and cannot explain. House refuses to use his office because it has new carpet.
  • 5.
    Fools for Love

    Description

    A husband and wife being treated cause Foreman to ponder the strength of true love, and House abuses one too many patients with potentially devastating repercussions.
  • 6.
    Que Será Será

    Description

    A “suicidally” obese man in a coma presents treatment challenges, but finding out what’s wrong with him may be the most challenging test of all. Elsewhere, Tritter ramps up his vendetta against House.
  • 7.
    Son of Coma Guy

    Description

    When the son of a man in a vegetative state starts going into a coma, the vegetative man is reawakened chemically by House, who hopes to get some clues to the son’s problems.
  • 8.
    Whac-A-Mole

    Description

    A young man collapses at his job, and House makes a game of establishing the diagnosis until things turn critical, and Tritter increases the pressure on Wilson.
  • 9.
    Finding Judas

    Description

    While a little girl’s life and limbs are in jeopardy, Tritter becomes more manipulative and House suffers withdrawal.
  • 10.
    Merry Little Christmas

    Description

    Wilson presents the deal to House and then convinces Cuddy to back him up, meanwhile the team is flummoxed by a patient’s condition and various members keep seeking out House for his opinion even though he may not be prepared to assist.
  • 11.
    Words and Deeds

    Description

    House checks himself into rehab just before his trial, but a different game entirely may be afoot. Elsewhere, the team attempts to treat a firefighter who can’t stop shivering.
  • 12.
    One Day, One Room

    Description

    Stuck with clinic duty, House almost wishes he had the boring patients back after he encounters a young woman with an STD and the need to talk.
  • 13.
    Needle in a Haystack

    Description

    A young man is stricken during sex with his girlfriend, and House must determine why his organs are suddenly shutting down. Finding the cause is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
  • 14.
    Insensitive

    Description

    On Valentine’s Day, House meddles in relationships as he works to diagnose a teenager who has a genetic inability to feel pain.
  • 15.
    Half-Wit

    Description

    House struggles to find out why a pianist savant is losing his ability to play. Ultimately, a decision must be made as to how much brain is necessary for a normal quality of life.
  • 16.
    Top Secret

    Description

    A patient whose relative has called in a favor with Cuddy presents with nonspecific minor symptoms that turn life-threatening, but House is distracted by a dream and an inability to urinate.
  • 17.
    Fetal Position

    Description

    When a pregnant woman has a stroke, the team is at a loss after all tests reveal nothing, but when her organs start shutting down Cuddy takes over the case.
  • 18.
    Airborne

    Description

    House and Cuddy are flying back to the US from an international conference in Singapore. While en route a mysterious disease strikes one passenger and an epidemic unfolds, causing House to diagnose in midair since they have missed the halfway mark by passing the north pole. Back in Princeton, Wilson and House’s lackeys have a confusing case of what is ailing a woman who came into the clinic and proceeded to have a seizure.
  • 19.
    Act Your Age

    Description

    A young girl is ailed with diseases that usually strike people much older than her 6 years of age. But before House can diagnose her, her brother starts exhibiting the same symptoms she was admitted with. During all of this House gives Wilson tickets that a patient had given to him for a play. Ensuing a discussion on why men take women to plays. Wilson decides to take Cuddy and the tug of war with House for her affections begins, although Cuddy insists that she only went with Wilson as a friend.
  • 20.
    House Training

    Description

    The cause of a woman’s TIA stumps the team, and Foreman’s family visits.
  • 21.
    Family

    Description

    Wilson is preparing his 14-year-old patient, Nick, for a bone marrow transplant when the donor, Nick’s younger brother Matty, suddenly starts sneezing. Since Nick’s immune system has been destroyed by the chemotherapy for his cancer, he cannot risk a marrow donation from Matty while Matty is ill. House decides that the fastest way to find out what’s wrong with Matty is to make him worse. As the boys get sicker and sicker, House and his team race to cure Matty before both brothers die. Meanwhile, House battles Hector (his newly adopted dog) for supremacy and Foreman …
  • 22.
    Resignation

    Description

    A 19-year-old college student, Addie, starts coughing up blood during karate class and ends up one of House’s cases. Foreman hands in his resignation before treating the woman and refuses to explain why. Although her symptoms show no signs of it, House is convinced that an infection is causing Addie’s bleeding. Her lungs start filling with fluid and House’s team believes a toxin or cancer is to blame for Addie’s illness but are unable to change House’s mind. Addie continues to get worse and House wants to do an extremely risky life-or-death treatment in order to …
  • 23.
    The Jerk

    Description

    When a teenage chess-player assaults his opponent, the team struggles to determine whether the problem is organic or psychological. Clinic Cases: Spotted sunburn.
  • 24.
    Human Error

    Description

    A couple risk their lives getting from Cuba to see House, but his preoccupation with staff issues may cost the woman her life.
  • 1.
    Alone

    Description

    House is off his game without the team, and Wilson uses an extreme tactic to force him into interviews.
  • 2.
    The Right Stuff

    Description

    House is forced to choose a new staff… and gathers 40 applicants to start narrowing down the field. Meanwhile, an Air Force pilot wants House to treat her secretly so she doesn’t ruin her chances of becoming an astronaut.
  • 3.
    97 Seconds

    Description

    Down to 10 candidates for his team, House splits them into 2 groups to diagnose a patient whose short lifespan has been made even shorter. Foreman leads his own team to diagnose a patient at his new workplace.
  • 4.
    Guardian Angels

    Description

    A woman seeing her dead mother stumps the recruits, especially once she begins seeing a recent victim.
  • 5.
    Mirror Mirror

    Description

    A victim of a mugging presents with neurological symptoms and begins to mirror the behaviors of his doctors. Foreman joins the new fellows in seeking a diagnosis; Cameron and Chase takes bets on who House will fire next.
  • 6.
    Whatever It Takes

    Description

    House is taken by black helicopter to help diagnose a dying CIA agent, leaving Foreman in charge of the team trying to find out why a young woman passed out after a drag car race.
  • 7.
    Ugly

    Description

    House and his team are hampered by a reality television crew whilst battling over possible diagnoses for a craniofacial surgery patient.
  • 8.
    You Don’t Want to Know

    Description

    A magician’s heart stops during a performance. At first House dismisses the case, but later changes his mind when complications arise. House has a contest to determine the next one to leave the team.
  • 9.
    Games

    Description

    House treats a rock musician, and some of the candidates have to get past their personal biases, Wilson misdiagnoses a patient, and the winners are named.
  • 10.
    It’s a Wonderful Lie

    Description

    House is equally obsessed with a mother and daughter who don’t lie, and using Christmas to create discord among the team members.
  • 11.
    Frozen

    Description

    When a researcher at a South Pole base becomes ill, House must diagnose the case at a distance. Meanwhile, House tries to find out who Wilson is dating, and his new staff tries to get him cable.
  • 12.
    Don’t Ever Change

    Description

    A woman collapses at her wedding. She led a different life style before her marriage, House insists she hasn’t changed. Wilson starts dating Amber.
  • 13.
    No More Mr. Nice Guy

    Description

    House encounters a patient who is too nice for his own good, which is a bigger problem than his emergency room diagnosis; and House competes with Amber for Wilson’s attention.
  • 14.
    Living the Dream

    Description

    House finds himself at odds with his team when he becomes convinced that an actor on his favorite soap, “Prescription Passion,” has a serious medical condition.
  • 15.
    House’s Head

    Description

    A bus that House was riding crashes. House claims there’s a victim on the bus that’s dying, but not from the bus accident. He stops at nothing to figure out who the patient is and what is ailing them.
  • 16.
    Wilson’s Heart

    Description

    The team works to save someone close to a central character’s heart. The key is inside House’s head, but he is in a bad way himself.
  • 1.
    Dying Changes Everything

    Description

    House’s preoccupation with Wilson leaves his team without direction and endangers the patient, a female whose exhaustive work schedule and demanding boss may have caused her condition.
  • 2.
    Not Cancer

    Description

    Years after receiving body parts from an organ donor, five out of six recipients die within a few months, but not from organ rejection. House and the team race against time to figure out why before the final surviving recipient, a young woman who received the donor’s cornea, mysteriously dies as well. House retains a comical private investigator to investigate patients, doctors, and his estranged friend, Wilson.
  • 3.
    Adverse Events

    Description

    House’s investigator gets information on everyone, which House uses to stir the pot of their lives while the team tries to cure a portraitist whose artistic view now looks like Picasso.
  • 4.
    Birthmarks

    Description

    House tries every delaying tactic available when Wilson forces him to attend his father’s funeral. Meanwhile, the team tries to find the cause of a young woman’s abdominal pain and hemorrhage that occurred in China.
  • 5.
    Lucky Thirteen

    Description

    Thirteen’s one night stand collapses at her apartment, and her symptoms are so misleading that the diagnosis may be terminal. Meanwhile, revelation about Wilson and Thirteen occupy House.
  • 6.
    Joy

    Description

    House takes on a case where the patient has unexplained blackouts, and his daughter may hold the key to the diagnosis. Meanwhile, Cuddy prepares for her new arrival until there are complications with the birth mother.
  • 7.
    The Itch

    Description

    House takes time to dabble in Cameron and Chase’s love life while he treats an agoraphobic patient she’s brought to the team.
  • 8.
    Emancipation

    Description

    The team tries to treat a patient who keeps lying to them, and Foreman exerts some independence.
  • 9.
    Last Resort

    Description

    A person takes House, Thirteen and others as hostages. He’s seen several doctors but none have found what ails him. As they work towards finding a solution, Thirteen makes decisions which leads her to think about her own condition.
  • 10.
    Let Them Eat Cake

    Description

    The drug trial brings back memories for Thirteen; Kutner and Taub scramble as they try to salvage a scam and save the team’s patient whose gastric bypass may not have saved her life.
  • 11.
    Joy to the World

    Description

    An obese teenager collapses on stage, and the outcome will lead to a surprise for Cuddy. Wilson convinces House to be nice to his patients during the holidays. Foreman and Thirteen have issues when a trial patient drops from the program.
  • 12.
    Painless

    Description

    House treats a patient who’s worn out by chronic pain. Cuddy tries to do her job and take care of her new child. Foreman and Thirteen’s relationship stalls.
  • 13.
    Big Baby

    Description

    House maneuvers against a measured Cameron when she takes over Cuddy’s duties, Foreman faces an ethical dilemma, and Cuddy has trouble bonding with the baby.
  • 14.
    The Greater Good

    Description

    A physician who gave up her career comes in for treatment, leading to tense encounters with the team. Meanwhile, Cuddy exacts revenge and Foreman’s choice has devastating consequences.
  • 15.
    Unfaithful

    Description

    House treats a priest who’s lost his faith, issues an ultimatum to Foreman and Thirteen, and plays with Cuddy’s desire to have him attend – or is it not attend? – her baby’s naming ceremony.
  • 16.
    The Softer Side

    Description

    House’s team resents being made complicit in a web of lies parents have told their son when he’s brought in for treatment that may be related to his intersexuality. Meanwhile, no one’s content that House is happy.
  • 17.
    The Social Contract

    Description

    The team tries to diagnose a condition that leaves the patient saying anything that he thinks, no matter whom it hurts, and Wilson raises House’s antennae when he passes up a monster truck rally.
  • 18.
    Here Kitty

    Description

    House treats a patient who is convinced she’s dying because of a death predicting cat. Meanwhile Taub catches up with an old High School classmate and contemplates leaving the team.
  • 19.
    Locked In

    Description

    House is injured in a motorcycle accident. While recovering, he finds an accident victim suffering from a brain injury. House tries to prove the brain damage caused the accident, not vice versa, so he can treat the patient.
  • 20.
    Simple Explanation

    Description

    Taub treats a patient whose dying husband gets better as she becomes sicker, while the rest of the team deals with a devastating loss.
  • 21.
    Saviors

    Description

    House worries he’s lost his mojo when he can’t determine the reason for Cameron and Wilson’s changed behaviors or his new patient’s diagnosis.
  • 22.
    House Divided

    Description

    House’s Amber hallucination becomes more aggressive as sleep deprivation takes its toll endangering a patient, and Chase’s bachelor party ends in the emergency room.
  • 23.
    Under My Skin

    Description

    When all of House’s efforts to rid himself of Amber fail, he turns to someone unexpected for assistance. Meanwhile, the team is left to fend for itself as they try to save a ballerina’s life and career.
  • 24.
    Both Sides Now

    Description

    House and his team treat a patient who had his brain split in half, now it seems like one side of his brain is causing some health/behavioral issues. House plays games with Cuddy over the night he detoxed, and those events will cause major changes. Cameron and Chase come to a decision.
  • 1.
    Broken

    Description

    House fights his doctors, the staff and his fellow patients when he’s forced to stay in the psychiatric hospital under threat of permanently losing his medical license.
  • 2.
    Epic Fail

    Description

    House returns home to Princeton where he continues to focus on his recovery, but surprises Cuddy with the news that he’s making a big change in his life. Meanwhile, the team is unable to diagnose a loud-mouthed video game creator who posts each new symptom on the Internet and opts for treatments suggested by the online community rather than by the doctors, and Foreman angles for House’s job, but the pressure to solve the case creates tension in his relationship with Thirteen.
  • 3.
    The Tyrant

    Description

    When a controversial African politician falls ill, he is brought to Princeton Plainsboro for treatment. The team struggles with whether to help a merciless dictator being subpoenaed for crimes against humanity in his country. Meanwhile, Wilson tries to make peace with a feuding neighbor, but House’s prying exacerbates the problem.
  • 4.
    Instant Karma

    Description

    A wealthy businessman brings his teenage son, who is suffering from inexplicable stomach pains, to Princeton Plainsboro and insists on having Dr. House handle the case. The father of the patient believes the karmic penalty of his financial success is that he is victim to personal tragedy, and that the answer to his son’s medical mystery lies in a reverse of fate rather than medical treatment. Meanwhile, Foreman and Chase prepare to present information on the Dibala case.
  • 5.
    Brave Heart

    Description

    The team takes on the case of a reckless police detective who has a family history of sudden heart failure that killed his father, grandfather and great-grandfather all at age 40. Though House is not keen on diagnosing the patient without any detectable symptoms, the team, urged by Cameron, attempts to identify his condition so the detective can live without fear of dying young. Meanwhile, Chase is haunted by his actions in the Dibala case, and House confronts some ghosts of his own.
  • 6.
    Known Unknowns

    Description

    A teenage girl is brought to the hospital with severely swollen appendages after a wild night out.
  • 7.
    Teamwork

    Description

    After House’s medical license is reinstated, he reclaims his role as Head of Diagnostics in time to treat Hank Hardwick, an adult film star admitted to Princeton Plainsboro for pulsating eye pain. Meanwhile, Cuddy is reminded that the hospial is not conducive to healthy personal relationships, and House angles to form a dream team.
  • 8.
    Ignorance Is Bliss

    Description

    House and the team take on the case of James Sidas, an exceptionally brilliant physicist and author who traded his successful career for a job as a courier. For the ailing patient, intelligence is a miserable burden that has prompted depression and addiction, and this, coupled with his myriad unusual symptoms, nearly stumps the team. Meanwhile, the doctors at Princeton Plainboro wrestle with strained personal relationships.
  • 9.
    Wilson

    Description

    When an old friend and former patient of Wilson’s exhibits paralysis in his right arm, Wilson puts himself on the case. House wagers Wilson that the patient’s symptoms are attributed to new cancer cells. Wilson accepts even though he is reluctant to believe the cancer has returned. With the help of the team, Wilson works to diagnose the patient more optimistic results, but when things take a turn for the worse, Wilson must address his inability to separate patient from friend. Meanwhile, Cuddy seeks advice in her search for real estate.
  • 10.
    The Down Low

    Description

    When drug dealer Mickey mysteriously collapses while negotiating a sale, his partner-in-crime, Eddie, accompanies him to Princeton Plainsboro for treatment. But with a major deal pending, Mickey is not forthcoming with the necessary personal information the team needs to treat him. As Mickey’s condition worsens, the team resorts to old-fashioned detective work to solve the case. Meanwhile, House and Wilson compete for the affection of a new neighbor, and Chase, Thirteen and Taub attempt to play a practical joke on Foreman.
  • 11.
    Remorse

    Description

    The team takes on the case of Valerie, an attractive female executive experiencing random episodes of excruciating pain. House agrees to take the case based on Valerie’s looks, and while treating her, the men on the team are charmed by Valerie’s beauty and personality, with Thirteen looking beyond the superficial to try to discover a link to her illness. Meanwhile, House uncharacteristically attempts to alleviate his conscience by reaching out to a former medical school colleague he wronged.
  • 12.
    Moving the Chains

    Description

    House and the team rush to treat an ailing college football star in time for the patient to compete in NFL tryouts. But when the patient experiences an onslaught of varied and unusual symptoms, the team has trouble reaching a consensus on how to effectively treat him in time. Meanwhile, Foreman’s brother Marcus makes a surprise visit to the hospital.
  • 13.
    5 to 9

    Description

    During a day in the life of Princeton Plainsboro’s Dean of Medicine, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the inner workings of the hospital are seen through her eyes. This day proves to be especially trying as Cuddy wrestles with myriad hospital issues and staff disputes that test her perseverance and skills as an administrator, all while juggling issues in her personal life.
  • 14.
    Private Lives

    Description

    House and the team take on the case of an avid blogger admitted with sudden bruising and bleeding. From her hospital bed, the patient blogs about her symptoms, doctors and prospective diagnoses to her dedicated band of followers and solicits their advice on a course of treatment. Such openness leads the team to contemplate the value of privacy, especially after House and Wilson uncover secrets from one another’s past. Meanwhile, Chase is coaxed into testing out the dating scene .
  • 15.
    Black Hole

    Description

    Physics student and his father, Artie, bring in the kid’s lover Abby Nash, who nearly suffocated in foam during a planetarium lecture. The team eliminates everything except an allergy to something in her body. House presses Wilson to buy furniture as a way to express his personality.
  • 16.
    Lockdown

    Description

    When a newborn disappears from the nursery, Princeton Plainsboro goes on lockdown, preventing anyone from entering, leaving or moving within the hospital. While House and his team members are trapped in various parts of the building, new insights about the team’s personal histories, relationships and regrets surface.
  • 17.
    Knight Fall

    Description

    House and the team take on the case of Sir William, a “knight” in a closed-off community of men and women living according to the ideals of the High Renaissance. As the team searches the medieval village for environmental factors contributing to Sir William’s rapidly deteriorating health, Thirteen and Sir William debate the acts that define honor and loyalty, especially in regard to the “queen” of the community, one of Sir William’s most frequent visitors. Meanwhile, Wilson starts over with an ex.
  • 18.
    Open and Shut

    Description

    House and the team take on the case of a woman Julia, who is in an open marriage and becomes ill during a date with her on-the-side boyfriend. As perplexing as the case is, Julia’s happy and healthy, yet polygamous relationship is equally baffling to the team. Meanwhile, House tests Wilson’s relationship with Sam.
  • 19.
    The Choice

    Description

    The team takes on the case of an ailing groom-to-be who harbors undisclosed secrets from a previous relationship. As his fiancée tries to get answers to her many questions, a frustrated team winnows down the possibilities. Meanwhile, House spends extra-curricular time with his Princeton Plainsboro colleagues, performing a karaoke rendition of a Gladys Knight & The Pips classic with Foreman and Chase.
  • 20.
    Baggage

    Description

    During a session with Dr. Nolan, House recounts the case of a woman who arrives at the Princeton Plainsboro emergency room with an unexplained illness and no recollection of who she is. While trying to solve the mystery of the woman’s illness, House must also help her piece together her identity.
  • 21.
    Help Me

    Description

    Cuddy, House and members of the team join forces with a search-and-rescue team to provide much-needed medical attention at the scene of an emergency.
  • 1.
    Now What?

    Description

    House and Cuddy are exploring the ramifications of those feelings and attempting to make a real relationship work. Meanwhile, due to a colleague’s illness, Princeton Plainsboro is left without a neurosurgeon on site, threatening the hospital’s accreditation as a Level 1 Trauma Center. As the team attempts treatment to get their sick colleague back to work, they discover there is more to the illness than they originally suspected and turn to House for direction. Instead, House remains elusive, leaving the team on its own.
  • 2.
    Selfish

    Description

    When Della, a seemingly healthy and active 14-year-old, suddenly collapses during a skateboarding exhibition, House and his team struggle to diagnose her condition and reassure her parents who already have to cope with their son’s terminal illness. After her body rejects a donor lung, and with time running out to save her life, Della’s family is left with little hope of securing a new donor and faced with a seemingly impossible decision regarding the fate of both children. Meanwhile, House tries to appease an elderly father and his son at the clinic, and House and …
  • 3.
    Unwritten

    Description

    When Alice, the author of a popular children’s book series, inexplicably suffers from a seizure moments before an attempt to take her own life, the Princeton Plansboro team faces the challenges of evaluating both her underlying medical conditions, as well as her unstable psychological state. Unable to diagnose Alice, House becomes particularly motivated, as he’s a fan of her books, and is convinced that the key to unlocking the mysteries of Alice’s condition lies in the pages of her most recent novel. Meanwhile, House takes Cuddy on a double date with Wilson and his …
  • 4.
    Massage Therapy

    Description

    When a patient named Margaret McPherson is admitted to Princeton Plainsboro after suffering severe and uncontrollable vomiting, House and the team make unexpected discoveries about her identity as they assess her symptoms. When the symptoms don’t improve, the team looks to the patient’s medical history to unearth more about her past. Meanwhile, House gives Chase’s new hire a cold welcome, and a visit from House’s massage therapist forces House and Cuddy to confront the reservations in their relationship.
  • 5.
    Unplanned Parenthood

    Description

    After a newborn experiences inexplicable breathing problems and liver failure, House and the team look at the baby’s mother, Abbey’s, own medical history for possible clues. When the team makes a discovery about her newborn’s health, Abbey is presented with a difficult decision that could potentially affect both her baby’s health and her own. Meanwhile, following Cuddy’s directive, House challenges Foreman and Taub to hire a female doctor to join the team. When Cuddy asks House to babysit her daughter, both House and Wilson learn a few hard lessons in parenting.
  • 6.
    Office Politics

    Description

    It’s election season, and in the midst of a tight campaign, an incumbent New Jersey senator’s campaign manager falls ill with liver failure and temporary paralysis. Cuddy pushes House to add a female doctor to his team by hiring brilliant third-year medical student Martha Masters in Thirteen’s absence. House and the team are wary of the young doctor’s lack of experience and medical perspective, but are forced to give their new by-the-book teammate a chance to prove herself. After the campaigning senator makes a surprising announcement, House and the team look to the …
  • 7.
    A Pox on Our House

    Description

    After a 200-year-old medicine jar found on an off-shore shipwreck shatters in a teenage girl’s palm, she is admitted to Princeton Plainsboro for symptoms closely linked to smallpox. When the Center for Disease Control’s Dr. Dave Broda institutes a lockdown on the hospital and suspends House’s team’s ability to diagnose, Masters grows suspicious of Broda’s motives and becomes convinced that the patient is suffering from a different disease. The girl’s father soon experiences similar symptoms, and House is forced to make a precarious decision that puts his own life in …
  • 8.
    Small Sacrifices

    Description

    Science and faith are called into question when a patient is admitted to the hospital following his reenactment of the Crucifixion. The patient, Ramon Silva, refuses to undergo the prescribed treatment, and the team learns that after his daughter’s cancer was cured, he pledged an oath of self-sacrifice to God. With little time to save Ramon’s life, the team struggles to understand his reasoning and seemingly extreme religious convictions, but eventually learn that faith is not an argument. Meanwhile, Taub questions his wife Rachel about her relationship with an …
  • 9.
    Larger Than Life

    Description

    When a man puts his life on the line to save a stranger who fell onto the subway tracks, he emerges from the dramatic scene miraculously unscathed but then suddenly collapses. Both the hospital and the town become captivated by the man’s selfless deed, but as the team works to diagnose his symptoms, they discover that the hero’s seemingly life-changing deed failed to break old habits. Meanwhile, House tries to avoid Cuddy’s birthday dinner with her opinionated mother Arlene, and Taub draws unexpected attention when his face graces billboards advertising the hospital. …
  • 10.
    Carrot or Stick

    Description

    A teenage military trainee at a juvenile offender training camp suffers peculiar symptoms after enduring an intense training course, and mysteriously, his drill sergeant is soon admitted for similar symptoms. Unable to track down the cause of the shared illness, the team searches for clues in the trainee’s family medical history, and Masters and House reveal a unique bond between the sergeant and trainee. Meanwhile, when an indecent photo of Chase is posted on a social-networking site following three different romantic encounters, Chase is determined to find out which…
  • 11.
    Family Practice

    Description

    Cuddy’s mother, Arlene, is admitted to Princeton Plansboro after complaining about unusual symptoms, but stubborn Arlene insists that House be removed from the case, forcing House to come up with non-conventional – and illegal – means to treat his patient. House instructs his team to follow his lead, and they discover details in Arlene’s personal life that she kept secret from Cuddy and her sister Lucinda. Later, Cuddy places her trust in House to ensure that her mother receives the proper medical treatment, leading “by the book” medical student Masters to reevaluate …
  • 12.
    You Must Remember This

    Description

    When a waitress with a perfect memory suffers temporary paralysis, her older sister visits her in the hospital, which triggers high stress levels and even more health complications. The patient’s sharp memory proves detrimental when a grudge she’s been holding against her sibling gets in the way of receiving proper medical treatment, and Masters discovers that patching a broken sisterhood may prove to be more complex than diagnosing the patient. Meanwhile, Foreman volunteers to help Taub prepare for a medical examination, and House, determined to help Wilson get back …
  • 13.
    Two Stories

    Description

    House participates in a school’s Career Day and breaks a few rules by sharing explicit medical stories. Waiting outside the principal’s office, he meets two fifth-grade students who assess House’s relationship woes and try to help him understand how his selfish antics get in the way of showing Cuddy how he really feels.
  • 14.
    Recession Proof

    Description

    A patient is admitted after breaking out in a severe rash triggered by caustic chemical exposure at his blue-collar job. As the team treats him, they discover that he has led his wife to believe that he is still maintaining his once-lucrative real estate career. Meanwhile, Cuddy is honored with an award and needs House to be at the charity event for support, but his attendance is threatened when his patient’s battle to survive forces him to question his practice and his own happiness. Also, Chase and Masters teach each other a lesson in forging meaningful personal and…
  • 15.
    Bombshells

    Description

    Tension reaches new heights when Cuddy faces sobering news that propels her to reevaluate her priorities. While House is distracted by his concern for Cuddy’s well-being, the team treats a teenage patient whose worsening symptoms and suspicious body scars indicate more than just physical illness. Sensing the teen’s troubled emotional and mental state, Taub turns to the patient’s personal life for clues and uncovers disturbing home videos that could put the lives of his peers in danger. Meanwhile, Cuddy remains hopeful that House will be fully present when she needs …
  • 16.
    Out of the Chute

    Description

    A young professional champion bull rider is admitted for treatment after being attacked by a bull. After conducting multiple inconclusive tests, the team enlists House’s advice outside of the hospital while he attends to a few issues away from the case. Back in the hospital, the bull rider’s condition continues to worsen, but with disappearing symptoms and the patient’s more frequent mini-seizures, the team’s last option is risky open-heart surgery. Meanwhile, Masters develops a crush on their bull rider patient much to Taub’s surprise.
  • 17.
    Fall from Grace

    Description

    A young homeless man who is a former drug addict is found in a park showing signs of olfactory impairment and horrific scars and burn marks on his chest. With an uncertain identity and the patient’s severely worsening conditions, the team looks to the patient’s personal records and family history in order to understand his detachment. Meanwhile, Cuddy confides in Wilson and expresses her guilt for ending her relationship with House, and just as the team warms up to the patient, they discover a disturbing secret about the man whose life they saved.
  • 18.
    The Dig

    Description

    The team treats a patient with a secret home life. Thirteen is released from prison. House enlists Thirteen to participate in a spud gun competition.
  • 19.
    Last Temptation

    Description

    Masters faces a career crossroads on her last day as a medical student and struggles with the choice to continue on the path to become a surgeon or to accept the rare opportunity to join House’s team officially. Meanwhile, the team treats a 16-year-old girl who inexplicably collapsed days before embarking on an ambitious sailing tour around the globe. Despite the patient’s life-changing diagnosis, the patient’s family insists on getting her back on the seas in time for her potentially record-breaking launch. But to the team’s surprise, including House, Masters makes a…
  • 20.
    Changes

    Description

    Arlene Cuddy returns and House and Cuddy’s jobs are in danger when Arlene tries to sue the hospital.
  • 21.
    The Fix

    Description

    When House and Wilson bet on a boxing match and disagree over the outcome, Wilson gives him exactly one day to pay up or prove him wrong.
  • 22.
    After Hours

    Description

    Thirteen’s ex-con friend, Darrien, arrives at Thirteen’s apartment unannounced and in need of urgent medical attention. When she finds out that her friend has relapsed into drug use, Thirteen promises not to take her to the hospital where the cops could find her and instead turns to Chase in desperation. Meanwhile, House deals with devastating information, and Taub begins to come to terms with surprising news.
  • 23.
    Moving On

    Description

    Well-known performance artist Afsoun Hamidi is admitted to the hospital, but when the team learns that her symptoms may have been self-inflicted as part of a documentary for her latest performance piece, they begin to question whether treatments are necessary and if they are unwittingly participating in the creation of a piece of her art. Meanwhile, a situation prompts House to do something that could change his relationship with Cuddy and Wilson permanently.
  • 1.
    Twenty Vicodin

    Description

    A year has passed since House crashed his car into Cuddy’s home, and we find House spending time behind bars at the East New Jersey Correctional Facility under the close watch of the prison warden. When an antagonistic prison gang leader makes a serious threat, House solicits the help of a fellow inmate, but when another inmate’s unusual medical symptoms spark his curiosity, House must come up with creative ways to treat the patient while navigating prison rules. House meets Dr. Jessica Adams, a young, intelligent and bright-eyed clinic doctor, but when they are faced…
  • 2.
    Transplant

    Description

    A surprising visitor makes House an offer he can’t refuse by giving him the opportunity to help the Princeton Plainsboro team treat a unique patient in order to save the life of an organ recipient being treated by Wilson. Although House finds himself back on familiar ground, he quickly realizes that much has changed since he left, and he is forced to work on the case with smart yet timid resident Dr. Chi Park. After several inconclusive treatments and with time running out, House and Dr. Park are left with one last option to examine the patient’s medical history that …
  • 3.
    Charity Case

    Description

    When Benjamin suddenly collapses after making a rare and generous donation, House and Dr. Chi Park are convinced that his extreme altruistic behavior may indicate a deeper medical disorder. With no definitive explanation for Benjamin’s loss of consciousness and unresponsiveness to treatment, House pushes just the right buttons to recruit former prison doctor Jessica Adams to volunteer her time and expertise to the case. Benjamin then makes a bold but life-threatening offer that could save another life, and the team must diagnose his disorder before he puts his own …
  • 4.
    Risky Business

    Description

    A CEO falls mysteriously ill just days before he signs a contract that would relocate his company’s entire labor force to China. House attempts to make an underhanded business transaction with his wealthy patient, but when the patient’s condition worsens, the team must work around the clock to save his life. Meanwhile, Park prepares for her hearing with the Princeton Plainsboro Disciplinary Committee chaired by Foreman, and Adams’ outlook on her patient’s business venture reveals her deeper feelings about loyalty.
  • 5.
    The Confession

    Description

    A man who is well-respected in his community suddenly collapses, and in the process of diagnosing his symptoms, the team discovers that the patient has been hiding dark and dishonest secrets about his personal and professional life. But when the patient openly confesses his wrongdoings to his family and community, he compromises his chances of receiving the proper medical treatment. Meanwhile, House will stop at nothing to manipulate Taub into taking a DNA test to prove he is the father of his two six-month-old daughters.
  • 6.
    Parents

    Description

    A teenage boy attempting to follow in his late father’s footsteps as an entertainer is admitted to Princeton Plainsboro with partial paralysis. As the team searches for a bone marrow match, they uncover a disturbing family secret. Meanwhile, House looks for creative ways to remove his ankle monitor so that he can attend a boxing match in Atlantic City, and he treats a patient who is convinced he is suffering from diabetes. Also, Taub faces a tough decision when his ex-wife Rachel tells him that she wants to move across the country with their infant daughter.
  • 7.
    Dead & Buried

    Description

    The team learns that their 14-year-old patient is suffering from more than teen angst when her physical symptoms worsen. Despite Foreman’s firm opposition, House becomes obsessed with solving a peculiar case of a deceased four-year-old patient, which gets him into serious trouble. Meanwhile, Park tries to get Chase to admit the reason behind his recent obsession with grooming.
  • 8.
    Perils of Paranoia

    Description

    A prosecutor suffers from what he believes to be cardiac arrest during an interrogation at the witness stand. The team’s preliminary diagnosis is hyper-anxiety, but when Adams and Park investigate the patient’s home and find a hidden arsenal of firearms, they uncover a more alarming and deep-seated psychological disorder. Also, Wilson becomes obsessed with proving that House is hiding something in his home, Park slowly comes out of her social shell and Foreman’s lack of romantic relationships piques the interest of Taub and Chase.
  • 9.
    Better Half

    Description

    An Alzheimer’s patient visits Princeton Plainsboro as part of a hospital sanctioned drug trial, but when he inexplicably suffers from violent vomiting and an increasingly explosive temper, the team begins to unravel a deeper marriage conflict between the patient and his dutiful wife. Meanwhile, House and Foreman butt heads, and Wilson treats a patient who claims to be in a chaste marriage.
  • 10.
    Runaways

    Description

    The team treats an underage and homeless female patient, but when her symptoms worsen and call for an invasive surgery requiring adult consent, House and Adams argue over whether they should contact social services. The patient confesses that she ran away from home after struggling to take care of her mother, a recovering drug addict. But when her mother appears at her bedside, a more complicated relationship is revealed and the patient’s mother must put the past aside and make the best decision for her daughter. Meanwhile, Taub has a difficult time connecting with …
  • 11.
    Nobody’s Fault

    Description

    When a violent incident involving a patient has serious consequences for one staff member, House and the team are placed under review by Dr. Walter Cofield, Foreman’s former mentor and current Chief of Neurology. As House and each member of his team recount the details of the dramatic and life-threatening incident, Cofield must weigh the team’s unconventional brand of collaboration against their ability to save lives.
  • 12.
    Chase

    Description

    Chase takes on a patient, Moira, who is a cloistered nun on the verge of making her life-changing vows, and through the treatment process, he and Moira form a unique connection that tests their faith and reason. But when Moira’s condition worsens and requires a risky surgery, Chase’s judgment is compromised. Meanwhile, House and Taub try to remain one step ahead of each other’s pranks.
  • 13.
    Man of the House

    Description

    A marriage counselor collapses during a speaking engagement, but when he is put under close evaluation, the team notice changes in his behavior that conflict with his motivational message on the roles of men and women. Meanwhile, House and his Ukrainian “wife” Dominika make a deal to convince Immigration that they are a happily married couple. Also, House decides to name a team leader.
  • 14.
    Love is Blind

    Description

    House and the team battle to save a successful, independent blind man who is struck down by a mysterious illness, just prior to him asking for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage. Meanwhile, House’s mother unexpectedly arrives at Princeton Plainsboro to inform him of her new beau.
  • 15.
    Blowing the Whistle

    Description

  • 16.
    Gut Check

    Description

  • 17.
    We Need the Eggs

    Description

    House and the team take on the case of a man who starts tearing blood. Meanwhile, House is interviewing for a new favorite hooker, since his current favorite, Emily, has decided to get married and leave the business. Desperate for Emily “companionship,” House teams up with his “wife” Dominika to sabotage Emily’s budding relationship.
  • 18.
    Body and Soul

    Description

  • 19.
    The C Word

    Description

    When the team takes on the case of Emily, a six-year-old girl who has numerous preexisting health problems, they must work with her mother Elizabeth, who happens to be doctor herself, specializing in her daughter’s condition. The team must also deal with the battles raging between Emily’s mother and father who have conflicting views on how to handle her health issues. When searching the family’s home for clues to Emily’s illness, the team realizes that Elizabeth’s determination to cure her daughter could be the very thing that is killing her.
  • 20.
    Post Mortem

    Description

  • 21.
    Holding On

    Description

  • 22.
    Everybody Dies

    Description

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Dr house tutte le stagioni eng sub-ita?

mi potreste indicare un sito in cui posso vedere tutta la serie di dr house in englese con i sottotitoli in italiano???? grazie


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Black girl in done


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    qui la maggior parte sono in italiano ma la 6 stagione è sub ita sito: dr. house ita -sub ita streaming megavideo

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Domande correlate

Dr house 7 stagione SUB ita!?

Streaming dr house sub ita 6 stagione?? 10 punti!!?

Dr house stagione 6×15(oppure 6×16, tit. buco nero) eng sub ita o ita per favorefino 6×22?

Altre domande
10 punti al migliore…Chuck o Dr. House eng sub ita?

Dr. House sesta stagione SUB ITA, NON streaming?

Risposta a una domanda

Perché si dà per scontato che quando un attore interpreta un ruolo gay senza essere gay allora sia etero?

Chi ha visto la serie tv Fringe?

Ho appena finito di vedere The Originals, se inuzio la serie di The Vampire Diaries mi potrei confondere oppure c è un senso ..?

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Dr house tutte le stagioni eng sub-ita?

mi potreste indicare un sito in cui posso vedere tutta la serie di dr house in englese con i sottotitoli in italiano???? grazie


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Black girl in done


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· 8 anni fa

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  • ?

    qui la maggior parte sono in italiano ma la 6 stagione è sub ita sito: dr. house ita -sub ita streaming megavideo

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Domande correlate

Dr house 7 stagione SUB ita!?

Streaming dr house sub ita 6 stagione?? 10 punti!!?

Dr house stagione 6×15(oppure 6×16, tit. buco nero) eng sub ita o ita per favorefino 6×22?

Altre domande
10 punti al migliore…Chuck o Dr. House eng sub ita?

Dr. House sesta stagione SUB ITA, NON streaming?

Risposta a una domanda

Perché si dà per scontato che quando un attore interpreta un ruolo gay senza essere gay allora sia etero?

Chi ha visto la serie tv Fringe?

Ho appena finito di vedere The Originals, se inuzio la serie di The Vampire Diaries mi potrei confondere oppure c è un senso ..?

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witziger text zum geburtstag

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Lustige Geburtstagssprüche für Spaß, Frohsinn und Humor beim Gratulieren

„Ein bisschen Spaß muss sein…“ – der Meinung ist nicht nur Roberto Blanco, sondern auch wir, die Spaß, Frohsinn, Witz, gute Laune und Humor zum Geburtstag ganz groß schreiben! Freuen Siesich in diesem Sinne also auf allerlei lustige Geburtstagssprüche für eine witzige Gratulation, humorvolle Glückwünsche, eine fröhliche Geburtstagsrede oder eine richtige Gute-Laune-Widmung für den weiteren Lebensweg! Unsere witzigen Geburtstagssprüche können gerne auch gesanglich ausgedrückt werden; oder wie wäre es mit ein paar lustigen Sprüchen zum Geburtstag, die Sie in lustige Geburtstagskarten mit Pepp und Pfiff einfließen lassen?

  • Lustige Geburtstagssprüche für den ultimativen Geburtstagshumor
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  • Witzige Geburtstagssprüche für gute Laune, Frohsinn und Spaß beim Gratulieren
  • Kurze lustige Geburtstagssprüche für eine humorvolle Geburtstagsgratulation mit Pfiff
  • Mit einem lustigen Geburtstagsspruch die Lachmuskeln der Jubilare und Jubilarinnen einheizen…
  • Geburtstagssprüche lustig in Geburtstagskarten, Geburtstagseinladungen und Co. einfügen: Wir präsentieren HIER fertige Beispiele für lustige Glückwunschkarten zum Geburtstag mit Lachgarantie…
  • Noch viele weitere schöne Geburtstagsworte – HIER geht’s zu unseren Geburtstagssprüchen, Geburtstagsgedichten, Geburtstagswünschen und Geburtstagsgrüßen!

Ist es endlich wieder soweit? Steht ein toller Geburtstag vor der Tür, zu dem Sie und viele weitere Angehörige, Freunde und Bekannte eingeladen sind? Dann nichts wie her mit einer wundervollen und einzigartigen Gratulation zum Jubeltag! Langweilige Glückwunschkarten aus dem Laden haben längst ausgedient, denn originelle, einmalige und außergewöhnliche Glückwünsche sollen diesen besonderen Tag hervorragend abrunden. Seien Sie also ein wenig kreativ und gestalten Sie eine Gratulation der Extraklasse mit Pfiff und Pepp!

Da es sich beim Geburtstag um ein wirklich freudiges Ereignis handelt, sollten auch die Gratulationszeilen entsprechend fröhlich und spritzig verfasst werden. Unterstreichen Sie die Freude und den Spaß an diesem Tag und verleihen Sie Ihrer Glückwunschkarte einen lustigen Geburtstagsspruch, der für Frohsinn und Humor sorgt. Nehmen Sie sich ein wenig Zeit, um eine richtig kecke Geburtstags-Ansprache nach dem Motto „Ein bisschen Spaß muss sein!“ zu verfassen oder überlegen Sie, wie Sie eine besonders witzige Widmung kreieren, die zum Schmunzeln anregt. Die Freude und der Humor dürfen heute keinesfalls auf der Strecke bleiben, denn man wird nur alle 365 Tage ein Stück älter, worauf man ausgiebig und mit Spaß anstoßen sollte.

Auf unserer Webseite www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de präsentieren wir Ihnen wundervolle lustige Geburtstagssprüche, die sich sowohl für den Jubeltag der lieben Mama eignen, als auch für den besten Kumpel, die Nachbarin oder den Arbeitskollegen. Nehmen Sie sich ruhig ein wenig Zeit und holen Sie sich schon vorab eine ordentliche Portion Humor bei uns ab. Wir sind überzeugt, dass Ihnen unsere lustigen Sprüche zum Geburtstag gefallen und Sie schnell fündig werden.

Bringen Sie das Geburtstagskind und all seine Gäste am großen Tag zum Lachen, indem Sie Ihre humorvollen Zeilen im richtigen Moment zur richtigen Zeit in Szene setzen. Ob Sie Ihre Glückwunschkarte laut verlesen, eine festliche Geburtstagsrede mit Humor halten oder Ihre witzigen Zeilen in einer eindringlichen Gesangseinlage präsentieren – Sie sorgen sicherlich für den ultimativen Humor und an diesem Tag garantiert gleich doppelt für gut durchtrainierte Bauchmuskeln.

Lustige Geburtstagssprüche zum Lachen und Schmunzeln

Was ist schon ein Geburtstag, an dem alle Gäste mit ernsten Mienen in der Ecke sitzen und wie versteinert am Geburtstagskuchen nagen? Bringen Sie in jedem Fall Humor und Spaß mit in die Bude und sorgen Sie dafür, dass dieser Jubeltag bei allen lange in positiver Erinnerung bleibt. Alles, was Sie dafür tun müssen, ist, sich ein paar außergewöhnliche und amüsante Zeilen zu überlegen, die Sie am großen Tag feierlich übermitteln. Punkten Sie mit humorvollen Anekdoten, necken Sie den Jubilar / die Jubilarin ganz lieb mit lustigen Geburtstagssprüchen und sparen Sie nicht an charmanten Witzen, mit denen Sie ein Strahlen auf das Gesicht des Empfängers und der Gäste zaubern. Setzen Sie auf unsere Textvorlagen und werten Sie den kommenden Geburtstag so richtig auf!

Auf www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de stellen wir Ihnen eine riesengroße Sammlung an einzigartigen und überaus witzigen Geburtstagssprüchen vor, die Sie völlig kostenlos ergattern können. Es kostet Sie keinen Cent, dem Geburtstagskind eine Freude zu bereiten und zum Lachen zu bringen. Lediglich ein wenig Zeit und Lust am Verfassen humorvoller und lustiger Geburtstagssprüche sollten Sie investieren, damit Ihre Botschaft am bedeutenden Tag auch perfekt ankommt. Suchen und finden Sie also in aller Ruhe Ihre persönlichen Lieblingszeilen und erhalten Sie bei uns eine Lachgarantie dafür inklusive.

Wir hoffen, Du hast gut gekocht,
denn wir haben großen Hunger,
Kartoffelsalat wollen wir nicht,
lieber wäre uns jetzt Hummer.

Wir hoffen, Du hast gut gekühlt
eine Menge an Getränken,
denn wir haben großen Durst
und auch sehr große Geschenke.

Wir hoffen, Du hast sehr viel Zeit,
die wollen wir Dir gern vertreiben
und bist zum Feiern auch bereit,
denn wir werden sehr lange bleiben.

Wir sind für Dich die allerbesten
Freunde und liebe Geburtstagsgäste.
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Nimm’s nicht so tragisch – die ersten hundert Jahre sind die schwersten!
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
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Happy Birthday, alter Feger, heute feiert mit Dir jeder. Hast uns immer gebracht zum Lachen, keiner anderer macht so verrückte Sachen. Drum lass uns heute lustig sein, bis der Morgen kommt zum Fenster rein.
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Gib nicht auf und lass Dich nicht hängen,
folge den fröhlichen Gesängen.
Habe vorbereitet etwas für Dich,
zu Deinem Geburtstag, glaube an mich.
Auf die alten Zeiten wir trinken,
in Erinnerungen versinken.
Es ist nicht vorbei,
nicht einerlei.
Was Du noch erwartest von Deinem Leben,
denn es wird noch viele Möglichkeiten geben.
Alter ist eh nur relativ,
sage ich und grinse schief.
Hebe mein Glas zu einem Toast,
stoße mit Dir an, darauf Prost.
Alles Gute und Gesundheit für Dich,
erinnerst Du Dich noch an mich?
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Ein Schlückchen hier, ein Schlückchen da,
die ganze Welt ist wunderbar,
so ist es und so wird es sein,
gestapelt stehen die Schlemmereien,
das Bierchen hat Dir gut geschmeckt,
nur leider liegst Du schon im Bett,
die Gäste feiern ohne Dich,
so ist es halt, betrinkt man sich.
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Zum Geburtstag diesen Reim – sollst immer froh und munter sein.
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Wie alt bist du? Na ich werde jetzt nicht nachzählen.
Ich liebe ja meine eigenen Geburtstage, aber jetzt kommt‘s –
Ich bin wirklich froh, dass es heute dein Geburtstag ist,
so muss ich dich nicht singen hören.
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In der Küche? Im Bad? Auf dem Schreibtisch? Beim Kamin? Mit … ist es schon eine tolle Leistung, sich daran zu erinnern wo der Autoschlüssel zuletzt war!
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Hol‘ die Flaschen aus dem Keller,
wenn es geht, doch etwas schneller,
wir wollen mit Dir jetzt anstoßen
auf den Geburtstag, Deinen großen.

Bist Du auch noch Junggeselle,
was Frauen angeht nicht sehr helle,
auch Du wirst eine abbekommen,
auch so einer wird mal genommen.

Schwing‘ die Pizza auf die Teller,
wenn es geht, doch etwas schneller,
wir wollen endlich was essen,
oder hattest Du’s vergessen?

Denn Du hast auf alle Fälle
heut‘ Geburtstag, auf die Schnelle
gibt es von uns jetzt die Gaben,
die wir für Dich in petto haben.
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Eigentlich wollte ich dir etwas Supertolles, Megagrandioses, Einzigartiges und Wunderschönes zum Geburtstag schenken. Aber es hat einfach nicht ins Kuvert gepasst. Deshalb sage ich es mit Worten: Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!
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Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Du Jungspund! Warst du eigentlich sehr traurig, als die Dinosaurier ausgestorben sind?
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Ich liebe eine so wie keine
und Du weißt schon, wen ich meine,
sie ist schön, begabt und schlau,
eben meine liebste Frau.

Ich liebe eine so wie keine,
sie hat Köpfchen und auch Beine,
wenn ich sie so recht anschau‘,
dann bin ich stolz wie ein Pfau.

Ich liebe eine wie sonst keine
und die weiß, dass ich sie meine,
sie hat Geburtstag, meine Frau,
am heutigen Tage ganz genau.
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Mach Dir nichts aus dem Alter, denn was hat man schon zu verlieren, wenn man älter wird? Naja – die Figur, das Gehör, die Haare, das Erinnerungsvermögen, die sexuelle Aktivität…
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Ich sag dir an diesem Tag musst du keine Angst haben vor dem Älterwerden. Denn zum Glück kann man graue Haare ja wieder färben.
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Beinahe hätte ich ihn vergessen,
das wäre ziemlich schlimm gewesen,
dann drohte mir die schlimmste Strafe:
Vier Wochen auf der Couch zu schlafen.

Beinahe hätte ich ihn vergessen,
das wäre katastrophal gewesen,
das hätte sie mir in diesem Leben
wohl niemals mehr vergeben.

Beinahe hätte ich ihn vergessen,
dann gäbe es kein Mittagessen,
doch weil ich sie über alles mag,
gibt’s Geschmeide zum Geburtstag.
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Lustig wird‘s zu jeder Stund,
denn gleich hast du Sahne um den Mund.
Der Tisch ist gedeckt, der Kuchen…hmm wie schmackhaft.
Sag nix böses, sei ganz schlicht,
sonst landet der Kuchen ganz ganz schnell in deinem Gesicht.
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Charme, Stil und ein hohes Alter – zumindest eines davon hast du heute erreicht.
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Noch mehr lustige Sprüche zum Geburtstag für gute Laune, Frohsinn und Spaß am persönlichen Ehrentag

Gerade, wenn es sich beim Geburtstagskind um einen sehr lustigen und humorvollen Menschen handelt, kommen Glückwünsche und Gratulationszeilen mit Charme und Witz wie gerufen. Ihr persönlicher Glückwunsch soll doch sicherlich nicht einer von vielen sein, daher verfassen Sie eine Gratulationskarte, eine Widmung oder eine mündliche Festrede mit Esprit, die beim Jubilar und seinen Gästen sicherlich hervorragend ankommt und lange in positiver Erinnerung bleibt. Wir von www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de helfen Ihnen dabei, mit lustigen Sprüchen zum Geburtstag die Geburtstagslaune anzuheben und für den ultimativen Humor zu sorgen. Stöbern Sie einfach einmal durch unsere große Sammlung an einzigartigen, ausdrucksstarken und lustigen Sprüchen zum Geburtstag, die an Witz und Charme kaum zu überbieten sind. Machen Sie dem Jubilar eine riesige Freude, indem Sie mit Frohsinn und Spaß auf das vergangene Lebensjahr zurückblicken und mit einem strahlenden Lachen auf das kommende schauen. Wir sind überzeugt, dass Ihre Zeilen perfekt ankommen werden und man Ihre Kreativität und Ihre Mühe sehr schätzen wird.

Lachen ist gesund und macht glücklich – was ist also ein besseres Geschenk zum persönlichen Feiertag, wenn nicht Gesundheit und Glück? Machen Sie also alles richtig und bringen Sie mit einem lustigen Geburtstagsspruch den Jubilar und seine Gäste zum Lachen. Ob Sie dies mit einem Lied, einer Karte, einer Rede oder einer Widmung tun, liegt ganz bei Ihnen. All unsere Sprüche kommen gut an und werten jeden Jubeltag immens auf.

Niemand liebt Dich so sehr wie ich,
für immer und auch auf ewiglich,
niemand auf der ganzen Welt,
der Dir wie ich die Treue hält.

Niemand nervt Dich so sehr wie ich,
der Fußball liebt auf ewiglich,
niemand auf der ganzen Welt
so dem Verein die Treue hält.

Niemand fehlt Dir so sehr wie ich,
der zum Auswärtsspiel aufbricht,
doch weil Du Dich so oft beklagst
hab‘ ich den Freunden abgesagt.

Niemand liebt Dich so sehr wie ich,
nun sei doch einmal stolz auf mich,
während die anderen Fahnen schwenken
gratuliere ich Dir mit Geschenken.
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Heute ist Dein Geburtstag,
Du bist ein Jahr älter geworden.
Doch wir machen keinen Hehl daraus,
von uns bekommst Du einen Orden,
denn Du siehst zu Deinem,
und zu unserem Glück,
noch immer ganz passabel aus.
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Nein, ich würde nicht sagen, dass auf Deiner Torte zu viele Kerzen stehen!
Ich würde sagen: Aaargh, Hilfe, ist das hell! Meine Augen! Diese Hitze, ich verbrenne! Jemand sollte die Feuerwehr rufen! Aber egal. Ich wünsche Dir trotzdem alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
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Falls Du heute mehr als üblich wehst und klagst,
weil Dein Bild im Spiegel Du nicht mehr magst,
Weil die Falten mittlerweile offensichtlich sind,
das graue Haar wird lichter, geschwind,
sorge Dich nicht um das Heute und Morgen,
denn mit dem Gedächtnis da gehen auch all´ Deine Sorgen.
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Mit viel Geläuft, Trara und Getute wünsche ich dir alles Gute.
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Vor vielen Jahren, kam ein Baby angefahren,
ohne Strümpf und ohne Schuh, mein/e Liebe/r … das warst du!
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Du denkst du bist alt? Du bist nicht alt… letztes Jahr warst du alt, jetzt bist du antik.
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Ruhiger und älter sind wir nun,
doch werden wir nicht dran denken zu ruhen.
Heute zu Deinem Wiegenfeste,
aktivieren wir alle Reste,
der Energie und Kraft die wir haben,
werden uns an reichlich Bier nun laben.
Einen Schlafplatz bei Dir haben wir gebucht,
damit uns die Frau nicht im Graben sucht.
Nun hebe Dein Glas und habe Freude,
schließlich ist Dein Geburtstag heute.
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Nelken und Tulpen, die kannst Du nicht leiden,
darum habe ich Dir auch keine besorgt,
für Dich gibt es rote Baccara-Rosen,
das Geld dafür habe ich mir geborgt.

Meine Freunde kannst Du auch nicht leiden,
darum habe ich sie nicht mitgebracht,
doch Dein Geburtstag, der ist ja vorbei
exakt um zwölf, zur Mitternacht.

Meine Mutter kannst Du auch nicht leiden,
trotzdem kommt sie heute mal vorbei,
das ließ sich wohl auch nicht vermeiden,
denn ihre Schwiegertochter ist ihr nicht einerlei.

Geburtstagsfeste kannst Du auch nicht leiden,
darum habe eins für Dich organisiert,
denn Dich zu lieben, kann ich nicht vermeiden,
warum, habe ich bis heut‘ nicht kapiert.
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Werden die Haare auch grau und knackt inzwischen auch so manches Gelenk, haben wir dich doch gern und überreichen dir ein Geburtstagsgeschenk.
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Die besten Jahre hast Du nun hinter Dir,
darauf wollen wir heute feiern hier!
Wer weiß, was noch so vor Dir liegt,
es kommt auch darauf an, wie man sich selbst so gibt!
Fühlst Du Dich noch jung im Herzen,
vergisst Du auch im Alter nicht das Scherzen,
dann hast Du noch ‘ne tolle Zeit vor Dir,
vielleicht beginnen die besten Jahre dann erst heute und hier?
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Willkommen im Club der Alten,
trägst nun auch die ersten Falten.
Das Haar ganz licht, die Zähne locker,
doch nichts haut Dich so schnell vom Hocker!
Alles Gute wünschen wir Dir heute,
haben im Sack eine fette Geldbeute.
Denn für Deine Party sammelten wir
und überreichen nun die Münzen Dir!
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Ob Du den Tag nutzt oder der Tag Dich abnutzt,
den Kuchen mit allen oder alleine verputzt,
aus Vergangenem lernst oder Altes erneuerst,
Dein Sparschwein schlachtest und alles verfeuerst,
all dies und noch mehr kannst Du heute entscheiden,
alles Gute zum Geburtstag und jetzt lass und feiern.
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Hipp, hipp und hurra!
Stopp – nicht hochspringen, in Deinem Alter sollte man auf seinen Rücken achtgeben.
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Heute ist es an der Zeit,
liebe/lieber …, es ist soweit!
Dein Schlupftag steht vor der Tür,
dazu gratulieren wir!
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Na du Pflaume, du wirst ja immer reifer und reifer und plumps bist Du Fallobst. Naja, das kann ja auch noch ganz lecker sein. Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!
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Wenn die Sonne scheint und lacht,
Dein Geburtstag Freude macht.
Auch in Deinem Alter vergiss nicht zu Lachen,
denn das Leben soll Spaß machen!
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Witzige Geburtstagssprüche für witzige Geburtstagskarten mit Pepp und Pfiff

Es ist üblich, das Geburtstagskind an seinem persönlichen Ehrentag eine liebevoll gestaltete Glückwunschkarte zu überreichen, in der man seine herzlichen Wünsche übermittelt und für die Zukunft nur das Beste wünscht. Verfassen Sie aber nicht eine Karte, wie es jeder andere tut, sondern punkten Sie mit Pepp und Charme! Sorgen Sie dafür, dass Ihre außergewöhnliche Karte nicht so schnell in der Schublade verbannt wird, sondern einen Ehrenplatz im Herzen des Empfängers einnimmt. Statten Sie sie mit einem überaus witzigen Geburtstagsspruch aus, der zum Lachen anregt und sich so schnell im Gedächtnis verankert. Wir helfen Ihnen gerne dabei, mit witzigen Geburtstagssprüchen eine originelle und einzigartige Gute Laune Geburtstagsgratulation zu verfassen, mit der Sie allemal punkten werden.

In unserer großen Sammlung bieten wir Ihnen witzige Geburtstagssprüche für witzige Geburtstagskarten mit Pepp und Pfiff. Verleihen Sie Ihrem Glückwunschschreiben einen erstklassigen Input, der auch Jahre später die Lachmuskeln anregt und für viel Spaß sorgt. Damit nicht nur der Jubilar etwas vom Kuchen abbekommt, lesen Sie Ihre Gratulationszeilen doch einfach laut vor und sorgen Sie damit für einen wirklich freudigen Moment auf der schönen Geburtstagsfeier. Bringen Sie Menschen mit einem witzigen Geburtstagsspruch zum Lachen, indem Sie mit charmanten Zeilen voller Humor und Witz die Gesellschaft so richtig aufmischen. Sicherlich wird man Ihre Glückwunschkarte in Ehren halten und immer wieder gerne an diesen besonderen Tag zurückdenken.

Heute ist Dein Geburtstag,
Du bist ein Jahr älter geworden.
Doch wir machen keinen Hehl daraus,
von uns bekommst Du einen Orden,
denn Du siehst zu Deinem,
und zu unserem Glück,
noch immer ganz passabel aus.
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Anstatt von vielen bunten und hübsch brennenden Kerzen,
die aufgrund ihrer Zahl nicht auf den Kuchen passen,
schenken wir Dir Frohsinn aus unseren Herzen,
die schlechte Laune haben wir heute Zuhause gelassen,
anstatt einer riesigen, zuckerigen und kalorienreichen Torte,
die letztendlich ja doch nur für mehr Hüftgold sorgt,
schenken wir freundliche liebende Worte,
und was für viel Spaß am Geburtstag sorgt,
dass sind Wein und Sekt und Bier,
und auf Dein nächstes Lebensjahr, da trinken wir.
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Ausgeschlafen, feierwütig,
Sektkorken knallend, übermütig,
schunkeln, singen, vorlaut sein,
Geburtstagskinder haben es fein.
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Ich bin ein kleiner Pinkel, rund und dick.
Ich schlüpfe aus dem Winkel und wünsche dir viel Glück!
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Welche Zahl an diesem Tage auf der Torte steht,
am Ende ja doch kein Hahn danach kräht,
wichtig ist nur das Geburtstagskind,
und weshalb wir nun alle beisammen sind,
zum Geburtstag gratulieren Dir,
Deine besten Freunde, das sind wir.
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Sollte Dich jemand alt nennen,
dann schlag ihn mit deinem Stock und wirf ihm dein Gebiss hinterher!
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Falten im Gesicht und schütteres Haar,
vergangen ist ein weiteres Jahr.
Wie Du sagst, die Zeit, sie flieht.
Die Schwerkraft an Deinen Muskeln zieht.
Auch wenn die Jugend nicht kehrt zurück,
wünsche ich Dir alles Glück.
Und weiß, dass Dein Geburtstag heut,
zusammenführen wird viele Leut.
Die wir uns kennen seit Jahrzehnten,
verstreut in alle Winde uns doch fehlten.
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Ein guter Jahrgang bist Du schon,
der Zeit liefst Du nur so davon.
Doch kannst Du nun nichts mehr verstecken,
tust Du Dich auch noch so strecken!
Man sieht ihn schon, den kleinen Ansatz von Bauch,
silbrig glänzende Haare hast Du auch!
Winzig kleine Fältchen im Gesicht,
doch geh‘ jetzt nicht gleich vor’s Gericht!
Denn das sind des Alters Zeichen,
die jeder wird einmal erreichen.
Für Dich ist jetzt die Zeit gekommen,
die Alterung hat nun begonnen.
Darum wünschen wir Dir für die nächsten Jahre
ganz viel Kraft,
damit Du ein hohes Alter schaffst!
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Je mehr Kerzen deine Geburtstagstorte hat, desto weniger Atem hast du, um sie auszublasen.
Jean Cocteau

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Herzlichen Glückwunsch altes Haus,
jedes Jahr siehst Du älter aus.
Lange machst Du´s ja eh nicht mehr,
drum richt dein Testament schnell her.
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Alt zu werden ist nicht schwer,
alt zu sein dagegen sehr!
Drum werde nur alt und fühl Dich nicht so,
jung aussehen tust Du sowieso!
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Verschieden Gründe die dafür sprechen,
dass wir nicht mehr so wie früher zechen.
Langsam nur baut die Leber ab,
nun sehe ich, was ich davon hab.
Doch das Du uns anbietest alkoholfreies Bier,
nachdem wir gratulierten Dir.
Finde ich wirklich übertrieben,
hätte ich das gewusst, wär ich Zuhause geblieben.
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Vor … Jahren kamst Du auf diese seltsame Welt,
als kleines Baby warst du bestellt,
ohne Haare, immer Durst,
damals kamst Du an Mutter’s Brust.
Heute gehen die Haare wieder langsam aus,
doch aus Mutter’s Brust trinkst Du nicht mehr raus!
Dafür werden wir heute Deine Gäste sein
und mit Dir gemeinsam trinken ein gutes Fläschchen Wein!
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Die Jahre waren gut zu dir. Es waren eher die Wochenenden, die dich geschafft haben.
Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag!
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Du musst keine Angst vor dem Älterwerden haben – graue Haare kann man färben!
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Die besten Jahre hast Du nun hinter Dir,
darauf wollen wir heute feiern hier!
Wer weiß, was noch so vor Dir liegt,
es kommt auch darauf an, wie man sich selbst so gibt!
Fühlst Du Dich noch jung im Herzen,
vergisst Du auch im Alter nicht das Scherzen,
dann hast Du noch ’ne tolle Zeit vor Dir,
vielleicht beginnen die besten Jahre dann erst heute und hier?
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Die Lachmuskeln der Jubilare und Jubilarinnen so richtig in die Gänge bringen – mit unseren kurzen lustigen Geburtstagssprüchen!

Um mit Witz und Charme zu punkten, braucht es nicht immer vieler Worte. Oftmals reicht ein kurzer lustiger Geburtstagsspruch aus, um das Wesentliche auf den Punkt und den Jubilar und seine Gäste zum Lachen zu bringen. Setzen Sie daher auf unsere kurzen lustigen Geburtstagssprüche, die nicht weniger humorvoll und amüsant sind. Zaubern Sie ein Lachen auf das Gesicht aller feiernden Menschen und sorgen Sie dafür, dass es auf der großen Feier nie langweilig wird. Wir geben Ihnen hierfür gerne die nötige Inspiration und stellen Ihnen amüsante Textvorlagen für diesen Anlass zur freien Verfügung.

Bringen Sie es kurz und bündig auf den Punkt – und das mit unheimlich viel Humor und Charme! Unsere kurzen lustigen Geburtstagssprüche bestechen durch ein hohes Maß an Ausdruckskraft und Tiefsinn, sind aber gleichzeitig überaus witzig und lustig gestaltet. Ganz egal, ob Sie dem netten Arbeitskollegen mit witzigen Worten zum Geburtstag gratulieren, dem geliebten Vater ein paar lustige Zeilen schenken oder der besten Freundin mal ein klein wenig die Schamesröte ins Gesicht treiben wollen – bei uns kommen Sie voll auf den Geschmack, denn wir bieten in unserer großen Sammlung viele kurze Geburtstagssprüche an, mit denen Sie so richtig für gute Stimmung sorgen. Natürlich bleiben Ihre liebevollen Glückwünsche dabei nicht auf der Strecke. Fügen Sie diese einfach hinzu und zeigen Sie, dass Sie von Herzen zum Ehrentag gratulieren möchten.

Heute wird gesungen und gelacht,
dem Geburtstagskind viel Freude gemacht.
Denn heute soll Dein Ehrentag sein
und alle stimmen mit uns ein!
Alles Gute für Dich,
Trübsal geblasen wird heute nicht,
gute Laune ist angesagt
und wehe, wer was anderes wagt!
Alles Gute von uns allen,
wir hoffen, Deine Party wird Dir gefallen!
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Alle anderen Menschen,
gehören in Deinem Alter zu den alten, mürrischen Greisen.
Doch bei Dir ist das anders,
Du gehörst zu den junggebliebenen, fröhlichen Weisen.
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Schon die ersten Falten im Gesicht, bald traust du dich kaum noch ins Tageslicht.
Krähenfüße und Orangenhaut, bald ist die Schönheit dann auch ganz versaut.
Immer schneller wirst du alt und runzlig werden,
denkst nach jeder Treppe, du musst sterben.
Wart nur ab, ich sag´s mein Kind,
das Alles kommt jetzt ganz geschwind.
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Es ist doch toll, jung, gesund und voller Energie zu sein! Kannst du dich noch daran erinnern?
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Dein Geburtstag, so ein Mist, heute kein Geheimnis ist! Wir wollten Dich fröhlich stimmen, lustige Lieder mit Dir singen. Jetzt übertönt uns der Gästechor, doch wir haben noch mehr mit Dir vor. Die Party machen wir zu Deinen Ehren und das kann niemand uns verwehren.
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So viele Kerzen für so einen kleinen Kuchen? Na egal, alles Gute!
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Ein Mann bekommt mit den Jahren Falten
und gehört dann zu den Alten.
Eine Frau bekommt nur Schönheitslinien,
so wie die Prinzessinnen.
Männer bekommen ’nen dicken Bauch,
Frauen haben Rundungen auch.
Doch macht die Frauen das Alter nur reifer,
während Männer werden in den Knochen immer steifer.
Frauen sind auch in der Reife das schönere Geschlecht,
zudem haben sie im Alter noch immer recht!
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Du hast das METALLALTER erreicht: GOLD in den Zähnen, SILBER in den Haaren, BLEI in den Füßen …
Herzlichen Glückwunsch!
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Ach du Schreck! Schon wieder ist ein Jahr weg. Langsam fühlst du dich auch alt. Der Geburtstag macht vor keinem Halt.
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Geburtstage kommen, Geburtstage gehen,
kaum hat man sich versehen,
ist es wieder mal soweit,
der nächste Geburtstag steht bereit.
Auch Du bist jetzt wieder dran
und stehst zur Feier Deinen Mann,
wenn alles sich um Dich nur dreht,
nur weil die Zeit so schnell vergeht!
Happy Birthday!
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Wenn man sich Deine grauen Haare, die Falten im Gesicht, die Hüftprothese und die falschen Zähnen im Mund einmal wegdenkt, dann siehst Du doch noch glatt wie 18 aus.
Herzliche Glückwünsche zum Geburtstag!
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Du hattest es nicht immer leicht,
doch sage ich Dir, dass es nun reicht.
Kein Grund um Jammern und zum Barmen,
gehörst Du doch nicht zu den Armen.
An Deinem Geburtstag Du heut tafelst auf,
bin zu Dir gekommen und sag Dir ich sauf,
nicht weniger als in den letzten Jahren,
wo wir noch viel jünger waren.
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Ich finde, im Alter wird man immer knackiger. Oder warum sonst hört man die Knochen ständig?
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
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Schon einige Falten im Gesicht,
Tage ohne Rückenschmerzen gab es lange nicht.
Dein Kopfhaar ist schon stark ergraut,
die Schönheit also fast versaut.
Doch du durchlebst es ohne Klage,
erinnerst dich der schöneren Tage.
Doch auch die nächsten Jahre können schöne werden,
Wenn Sie doch nur nicht voller Arztbesuche wären.
Hautarzt, HNO und Internist,
nur, dass das noch nicht das Ende ist.
Prostatauntersuchung/Brustkrebsvorsorge und MRT.
Keine Angst, das tut nicht weh.
Magenspiegelung und Dünndarmbiopsie,
und du denkst, das endet nie!
Podologe und Masseur,
da fällt der Besuch nicht schwer.
Doch lasse all diese Dinge über dich ergehen,
denn nur so ist es sicher, dass wir uns noch viele Jahre lang sehn.
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Habe mir lang überlegt zu kommen,
habe den ersten Zug genommen.
Wollte vor den Anderen bei Dir sein,
nachdem Du mich geladen hast ein.
Doch was ich nun sehe, entsetzt mich sehr,
wo ist die Lebenslust, sie ist lange her.
Der Grill steht im Hof,
ich finde das doof.
Dachte wir ziehen durch die Straßen,
das Feiern wir früher nie vergaßen.
Alles Gute mein lieber Freund,
mit dem ich feiern möchte heut.
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Ein lustiger Geburtstagsspruch für den ultimativen Geburtstagshumor mit Lachgarantie

Ein Geburtstag sollte immer mit viel Freude und Spaß gefeiert werden, denn jedes neu geschenkte Lebensjahr ist ein Glück und ein Segen. Gehen Sie es daher mit Frohsinn und Leichtigkeit an, wenn Sie sich an die Gestaltung Ihrer Gratulation machen. Verfassen Sie ganz witzige Zeilen und sorgen Sie mit einem lustigen Geburtstagsspruch für den ultimativen Geburtstagshumor mit Lachgarantie! Wir von www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de helfen Ihnen gerne dabei, eine außergewöhnliche und erstklassige Gratulation auf die Beine zu stellen, wie es sie kein zweites Mal geben wird.

Bedienen Sie sich einfach an unseren humorvollen Geburtstagstexten als Spruch verfasst, die Sie völlig kostenlos und schnell in unserer großen Sammlung finden können. Sie eignen sich sowohl für die kecke Großmutter, als auch für den frechen Bruder oder der fröhlichen Nachbarin. Überzeugen Sie sich von der Aussagekraft und dem Witz unserer Worte, indem Sie sich durch unseren Abschnitt klicken und jeden lustigen Geburtstagsspruch einmal auf sich wirken lassen. Ertappen Sie sich gerade selbst beim Schmunzeln? Na dann nichts wie ran an die Gestaltung Ihres Glückwunsches mit Stil und Humor. Ob Sie damit eine Geburtstagskarte ausstatten, Ihrer persönlichen Geburtstagsrede den besonderen Kick verleihen oder eine erstklassige Widmung gestalten wollen – Sie allein entscheiden, wie Sie Ihren amüsanten und lustigen Spruch zum Geburtstag am besten in Szene setzen und so für einen Geburtstag mit Spaß und Heiterkeit sorgen.

Zu deinem Geburtstag ein paar Worte der Weisheit: Lächle, solange du noch Zähne hast!
Happy Birthday!
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Denkst Du, dass Du heute ganz besonders wichtig bist?
Weil heute mal wieder Dein Geburtstag ist?
Das heute alle Welt nur an Dich denkt?
Und das man Dir ganz tolle Sachen schenkt?
Da liegst Du falsch, denn das ist klar,
für uns bis Du wichtig, das ganze Jahr!
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Herzlichen Glückwunsch – Dein Mindesthaltbarkeitsdatum ist abgelaufen!
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Schaffst du es die ganzen Kerzen auszublasen oder muss ich einen Feuerlöscher holen?
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Ein weiteres Jahr auf der Uhr,
wird es schon Zeit für eine Kur?
Die Knochen reiben etwas mehr,
die Hüfte schmerzt schon beim Verkehr,
man sammelt doch schon viele Leiden,
doch wollen wir es nicht übertreiben,
die Weisheit kommt ja auch hinzu,
viel weißes Haar, ja dass hast Du.
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Falten im Gesicht und schütteres Haar,
vergangen ist ein weiteres Jahr.
Wie Du sagst, die Zeit, sie flieht.
Die Schwerkraft an Deinen Muskeln zieht.
Auch wenn die Jugend nicht kehrt zurück,
wünsche ich Dir alles Glück.
Und weiß, dass Dein Geburtstag heut,
zusammenführen wird viele Leut.
Die wir uns kennen seit Jahrzehnten,
verstreut in alle Winde uns doch fehlten.
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Falls Du heute mehr als üblich wehst und klagst,
weil Dein Bild im Spiegel Du nicht mehr magst,
Weil die Falten mittlerweile offensichtlich sind,
das graue Haar wird lichter, geschwind,
sorge Dich nicht um das Heute und Morgen,
denn mit dem Gedächtnis da gehen auch all´ Deine Sorgen.
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Und schlägt der Arsch auch Falten, wir bleiben doch die Alten!
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
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Kannst Du die Bratwurst überhaupt noch beißen,
oder gehörst Du schon zum alten Eisen?
Manchmal werde ich den Eindruck nicht los,
auch Deine Kinder werden langsam groß.
Gibt einige Gründe die dafür sprechen,
das wir die Party vor Mitternacht abbrechen.
In Deinem Alter brauchst Du viel Schlaf,
glaube mir und verhalte Dich brav.
Bin extra eher zu Dir gekommen und
habe den Weg auf mich genommen.
Um Dir zu gratulieren heute,
ehe kommen alle anderen Leute.
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Ich wollte ja eigentlich persönlich vorbeikommen, aber der Anblick von alten Menschen deprimiert mich immer!
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… Jahre bist du heut`? Kein Problem, beruhige dich – steinalt bist du noch lange nicht!
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
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Machst Dir Gedanken um Dein Aussehen nun,
klar, da gibt es viel zu tun.
Doch ist Dein Alter nun kein Grund,
zu glauben, Du wärst nicht mehr gesund.
Habe zu Deinem Geburtstag beschlossen,
dass ich komme zu Dir geschossen.
Will Dir ein Handy schenken und nun,
mit dem Du kannst wirklich noch etwas tun.
Die zittrigen Finger nicht mehr funktionieren,
willst auf dem Smartphone Du etwas probieren.
Morgen können wir das Rentnerhandy lernen,
heute werden wir uns entfernen und
feiern wie in alten Tagen,
will Dir alles Gute sagen.
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Auf dass Du mal so alt wirst wie Du aussiehst. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag!
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Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag! Du siehst immer noch genau wie vor 10 Jahren aus … abgesehen von den Falten, den Runzeln, dem dünnen Haar …
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Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Ehrentag,
den ich wie früher mit Dir feiern mag.
Um die Häuser ziehen und flirten,
einkehren bei verschiedenen Wirten.
Traust Du Dir das wirklich noch zu,
oder genießt Du lieber die Ruh?
Ich hoffe doch, Du bist heute fit,
ziehst zu Deinem Geburtstag mit.
Erst einmal Prost auf die vielen Jahre,
auch wenn immer dünner werden die Haare.
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So können Geburtstagssprüche lustig und witzig in Karten, Glückwünsche und Gratulationen eingefügt werden – Hier gibt’s Beispiele für lustige Glückwunschkarten zum Geburtstag…

Vielen Kartenschreibern fällt es oft nicht leicht, Ihrer Karte einen wirklich einprägsamen und stilvollen Input zu verleihen. Oftmals fehlen die richtigen Worte oder ausgewählte Sprüche kommen darin einfach nicht gut zur Geltung. Mit unserer Hilfe wird das alles kein Problem! Wir von www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de helfen Ihnen dabei, eine wirklich originelle und eindrucksvolle Karte auf die Beine zu stellen, die den Empfänger beeindruckt und zum Lachen bringt. Schauen Sie sich dazu einfach unsere exemplarischen Glückwunschkarten zum Geburtstag an, die in Ihrer Form und Inhalt perfekt gestaltet sind. Holen Sie sich bei uns die nötige Inspiration und Anregung, um eine perfekte Geburtstagsgratulation mit Humor, Spaß und Witz zu kreieren, die definitiv ankommen wird. Kurzum: Wir zeigen Ihnen, wie Sie Geburtstagssprüche lustig, witzig und humorvoll in amüsante Glückwunschkarten und Geburtstagskarten einfügen können. Bei uns finden Sie genau genommen fix fertige Kartenbeispiele – jeweils inklusive Kartentexte, Geburtstagssprüche lustig gestaltet sowie perfektem Aufbau und optimaler Kartenstruktur!

Wenn Sie sich unsere Geburtstagskarten anschauen, müssen Sie sicherlich gleich ein wenig lachen, denn unsere lustigen Geburtstagssprüche werden sehr gut in Szene gesetzt und stechen sofort ins Auge. Setzen auch Sie Ihren ausgewählten Spruch als Kernelement in Ihre Glückwunschkarte zum Geburtstag ein, denn nur so macht er eine gute Figur und Sie erzielen damit den gewünschten Effekt. Es steht Ihnen dabei völlig frei, ob er zu Beginn eingefügt oder gar mittig platziert wird. Hauptsache ist, dass er sich vom Rest abhebt und Ihre persönlichen Glückwünsche etwas separat untergebracht werden. Wenn Sie Gefallen an unseren fertigen Geburtstagskarten finden, können Sie sie nach einer kleinen Personalisierung auch komplett so übernehmen und ohne viel Dazutun das Geburtstagskind mit Humor und wirklich amüsanten, lustigen Sprüchen zum Geburtstag beeindrucken.

Karte 1

Werden die Haare auch grau und knackt inzwischen auch so manches Gelenk,
haben wir dich doch gern und überreichen dir ein Geburtstagsgeschenk.

Lieber Franzi,

tja, das Alter macht leider vor niemandem Halt – auch nicht vor Dir! Wenn die Haare langsam grau werden, die Knochen knacken und die dritten Zähne kommen, dann weißt Du mit Sicherheit, dass Du schon ein Weilchen hier auf Erden bist…

Aber mach Dir nichts draus – das Alter ist doch nur eine Zahl! Man ist immer so alt, wie man sich fühlt – und Dir geht es ja blendend, Du bist agil, richtig fit und vor allem, was ganz wichtig ist, absolut lebensfroh!

In diesem Sinne gratulieren wir Dir von Herzen zu Deinem Geburtstag und wünschen Dir für alles, was Dich im neuen Lebensjahr erwartet, nur das Beste, viel Glück, Gesundheit, Frohsinn, Zufriedenheit und dass sich alles so entwickelt, wie Du es Dir wünschst!

Deine Freunde
Charlotte und Heinz, Christa und Bernd sowie Martha und Theo

Karte 2

Na du Pflaume, du wirst ja immer reifer und reifer
und plumps bist Du Fallobst.
Naja, das kann ja auch noch ganz lecker sein.

Lieber Walter – unser lieber und werter Herr Kollege,

jetzt siehst Du mal, wie schnell die Zeit vergeht. Wieder liegt ein Jahr hinter uns und das bedeutet genau genommen, dass Du ein Jahr älter geworden bist. Im Nu versiehst Du Dich und plötzlich bist Du echtes Fallobst; aber mach Dir nichts draus, lieber Walter – auch Fallobst kann total lecker sein; das stellst Du tagtäglich unter Beweis…

Nun aber Spaß beiseite, kommen wir zu dem, was wirklich wichtig ist – nämlich zu Dir als Jubilar, Geburtstagskind, Kollege und echten Freund! Wir sind froh, Dich in unserem Kollegenkreis zu haben und danken Dir für Deinen stetigen Fleiß, Dein Engagement sowie Deine Einsatzbereitschaft im täglichen Arbeitsalltag. Du bist nicht nur der beste Kollege, den man sich vorstellen kann, sondern vor allem auch ein wahrer Freund!

Mit den besten Geburtstagswünschen zu Deinem heutigen persönlichen Ehrentag von

Deinen Dich sehr schätzenden Arbeitskollegen
Anton, Rudi, Bert und Fritz

Diese Karten und Kartentexte unterliegen dem Copyright von Mag. Edith Helminger und dürfen ohne Zustimmung weder verbreitet und kopiert noch auf anderen Webseiten veröffentlicht werden. Verstöße werden geahndet!

Abseits vom Geburtstagsspaß… – Sprüche, Gedichte, Glückwünsche und Grüße für glückliche Jubilare und Jubilarinnen

Haben Sie vor lauter Lachen und Freude noch ein wenig Zeit um sich viele weitere tolle Textvorlagen auf www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de anzuschauen? Wir bieten Ihnen nämlich weitaus mehr als humorvolle Geburtstagsgrüße und Zeilen mit Lachgarantie. Auf zwei weiteren Seiten präsentieren wir Ihnen eine große Sammlung an vielen erstklassigen Sprüchen zum Jubeltag, an zauberhaften Glückwünschen und stilvollen Grüßen, die Sie für Ihre ganz persönliche Gratulation zum Ehrentag verwenden können. Klicken Sie sich dazu durch unsere vielen Abschnitte und lassen Sie sich von der Ausdruckskraft und dem Tiefsinn unserer weiteren Textvorlagen mehr als begeistern.

Wir freuen uns, wenn Sie Gefallen an unseren vielen Geburtstagszeilen finden und sich dafür entscheiden, Ihrer Gratulationskarte, Ihrer mündlichen Festrede oder der Widmung einen besonderen Input zu verleihen. Inspirieren Sie sich bei uns auf www.Wuensche-und-Sprueche.de in jeglicher Hinsicht. Wir bieten Ihnen unsere Zeilen völlig umsonst an und sind überzeugt, dass Sie damit definitiv punkten werden. Machen Sie Ihrer Großmutter, der Arbeitskollegin, dem besten Kumpel oder der Schwester zum Jubeltag also eine ganz besondere Freude, indem Sie ganz liebevolle Glückwünsche, einen tiefgreifenden Spruch oder ein eindrucksvolles Gedicht verfassen, welches zu Herzen geht. Also nichts wie ran an die Gestaltung Ihres ganz persönlichen Geburtstagsgrußes mit Stil, welcher begeistern wird und unvergessen bleibt.

  • Hier finden Sie zum Geburtstag Sprüche für Karten, Reden, Gratulationen und persönliche Widmungen
  • Geburtstagsgedichte und Geburtstagsverse vom Feinsten
  • Die schönsten Wünsche zum Geburtstag – mit Herz, Gefühl und Liebe gestaltet!
  • Geburtstagsgrüße, die bewegen, berühren und Freude machen…

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